Proxy
by A Raven of Emotions
Summary: AU Kames, Proxy!James, Human!Kendall. Small summary: James moved to Los Angeles, California with his brothers and sisters when they were all five years old. Eleven years have passed and they now lead semi-perfect lives. But behind the masks they wear lies a secret, a dark secret that can ultimately cost them everything they've worked so hard for.
1. He's a Wolf In Disguise

Hello, everyone! Did you all think that with 'Love the Way You Lie' now almost over that I'd be gone forever? Well if you did, you thought wrong! If you didn't, then you must have future-seeing abilities or something (unless you saw on my profile the ideas for future stories I had in mind)! Either way, I'm not gone! I am here to stay for a while longer, with another AU story to throw at you all! This will be a Romance/Supernatural/Horror/Suspense/Sci-Fi story, with a concept of half human, half "machine" (in quotes, because they really aren't androids per say) beings created by me! It will be new, there will be some mystery to the story and will often be confusing. That is okay; it is what the story has to do before all can be revealed. If the confusion becomes too much, though, don't be afraid to shoot me a PM! I will happily answer any questions WITHOUT providing spoilers! Okay long author's note out of the way, time to kick off my new story, Proxy! Hope everyone gives it a try, tell me what you think and stick around for it because it will be a wild ride! Oh, before the disclaimer, here are the pairings for the story: Kames (Kendall x James), Cargan (Carlos x Logan), Shaphanie (Shay x Stephanie), Jak (Jett x Dak), Cucy (Camille x Lucy) Gerecedes (Guitar Dude x Mercedes) and Jally (Jo x Wally AKA WayneWayne). I know some of these pairings are a little strange, but it's always good to try a few different pairing ideas out right? Well, onward now! **Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush (oh, I wish I did) or Shay Hanson (he's in this story too but not interested in James in a romantic sense, so no real Jhay vs Kames conflict here)! All I own is the story's overall plot and the OCs mentioned and/or used! Again, any confusion is fine but too much of it doesn't mean not to ask me if anyone gets lost! I want to make this story great sure, but not leave anyone in the dark! Again enjoy and tell me what you think! :) Note: the manga/anime Black Butler and the Slenderman mythos inspired a lot of this story, and many other creepypastas! :)**

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James looked himself over in the mirror, making sure he was ready to leave the house.

Was his suit on and working to perfection? Yep, so check that off the list. Even though his reflection was slightly differing from what he was suppose to look like with the suit on, he has learned to not question his mom's skills anymore.

It was because of her that he and his brothers and sisters were still alive today, after all.

Did he have his rubber gloves on? He can check that off the list too, he rarely left the house without them. They weren't the bulky, very thick rubber gloves most people used when at work and stuff. They were much thinner; they clung to his bony fingers rather well, the color a raven black but they didn't absorb heat (he couldn't afford getting too hot, not if he wanted to glitch out) and cause his palms to sweat. It was like wearing winter gloves, except they weren't for keeping the cold at bay.

The best part of the gloves? Well apart that they looked pretty stylish on their own (his mom wasn't going to make them stand out to avoid subjecting her children to questioning at school), they could take on the same tone of his skin. They could literally become his hands, so the chances of being caught wearing them were even lower.

'Mom always thinks ahead.' James thought with a small smile before focusing again, trying to keep up with the mental list of things he still needed to do before heading out.

This routine was tedious at best, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

"Okay suit, check. My gloves, check. Backpack with my homework, check. House keys, car keys, pepper spray...check? Wait, I'm forgetting something..." James bit his lower lip (well, it looked like he was biting his lower lip with the suit on) and sat down on his made bed, closing his eyes and crossing his arms as he stopped to think.

His gloves and suit were on, he had all the pointless homework his teachers assigned him done, and all his personal belongings (cell-phone included) nicely tucked away in the pockets of his dark skinny jeans. He wasn't forgetting anything important and hopefully got everything out of the way (like brush his teeth, make his bed, etc.) of what he did every morning so...

"Wait, now I remember. Dad!" James nearly jumped when a tall, tall man in a pitch black suit, blood red tie and highly polished dress shoes appeared behind him in less than two seconds, hands folded politely behind his back and head bowed.

The man was silent, silent as a corpse. He was pale, very pale that his eyes practically popped so beautifully against his soft skin, against his soft and icy skin. They were very deep eyes, very deep blue-green eyes. They seemed to give off an eerie glow even with the sun pouring in from James' bedroom window; his hair, short and raven black, was brushed back though a few bangs framed his face, showing off the sharp contours of his cheekbones, chin and the fullness of his lips.

His name was Xavier, Xavier Sebastian Maxwell.

He didn't talk, ever. Once he became a complete proxy, he lost the ability to talk. He was a strange man, a strange and silent man but to James he was Dad. To him and his brothers and sisters, he was their "Daddy". Even though he didn't speak and wasn't really married to their "Mommy", his actions through the years have spoken louder than all the words the siblings could only dream of hearing from him.

He was a man of action; words mattered so little to him.

"Morning Dad, do you have those pills Mom makes us take?" James asked, showing off his perfect teeth in a warm smile.

Xavier nodded and reached into his pocket, pulling out a small bottle. He twisted and twisted until the cap popped off, shaking it slightly until two small, bright purple pills were now in his right hand, handing his youngest "son" a glass of water with the other.

With the other hand protruding from his back.

'Why can't I learn to do that?' James thought in mock amazement, saying thanks under his breath as he swallowed the pills, one at a time because he's choked on both before, and drained the glass. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, Xavier opening his bedroom door for him and leading the way out with a wave of his hand.

"Ugh I hate those things, I still don't see why Mom makes us take them; I haven't glitched in a while." James said, taking the stairs two at a time with Xavier close behind.

The tall man shrugged his shoulders and gave his little superstar (everyone called James that, since he wanted to be famous one day) a small smile, his bright blue-green eyes shining with mischief. James felt that smile burning into his back, he spinning on the heels of his shoes to shoot Xavier a playful glare.

"Oh don't rub it in, you don't have to take them because you're all in control and have no chance of going rogue. But we have to take them because 'our powers are still developing'. Still even if they're still developing, why the pills? It's not like they do much good for us. I get headaches every time I take them, and nauseous too." James went blabbering away, smirking when Xavier began to rub his temples in light annoyance.

Even though Xavier loved him and his siblings to death, annoying him was one of their favorite hobbies.

Said man lightly urged the brunet forward, checking his shiny silver wristwatch in a practiced motion.

"Something eating at you, Dad?" James asked, though he already knew why Xavier was urging him so much.

The kids weren't allowed to leave the house for school until they had breakfast. James no doubt would be the first one at the table, since Cam and Lu usually slept in and Shay always forgot to set his alarm.

'Well at least Dak has an excuse to take his sweet time for breakfast; he can't really open his mouth without help.' James thought with his lips in a tight line.

Even though he didn't mind (much) being a freak, he always wished his brothers and sisters didn't have to suffer the same Hell. He wanted to be normal, more than anything but that only would have been possible if he hadn't survived the fire eleven years ago. If he had died, he would have been normal as a corpse instead of what he really was today.

Miraculously, he and his brothers and sisters have managed to carry on with their lives despite...a few inconveniences along the way. A majority of his memories as a little kid were blurry, only clear in bits and pieces. He couldn't remember who his parents were before Kelly and Xavier, he couldn't remember his birthday or favorite color, and he certainly couldn't remember much of the fire that "killed" him and resulted in what he was now. Kelly has spent all this time trying to figure out why, why her little "angels" had no recollections of their past but so far came up with no answer.

It was like when they "died", huge chunks of who they use to be died away with them.

James slowed down his pace until he was standing in the middle of the hallway, posture stiff. Xavier took notice almost immediately and placed both of his thin, gloved hands on the brunet's shoulders, prompting James to look him in the eye with a swift tap to his nose.

James looked up at Xavier, took in his pale, thin face and too blue-green eyes. He took in the sickly tone of his skin, the sharpness of his nose and silky mess of black hair.

'I-I turned him into this. He was normal once too, like Mom was...and then I fucked up and messed him up. I messed Dad up, Mom too...' James tried to fend off the urge to cry. His hands began to crackle with small sparks of bright blue electricity, his left eye slowly going pitch black.

It was slowly resembling a shard of onyx: no pupil, the soft hazel-green vanishing to the heavy shadows overtaking it. A feral instinct began to bubble up inside him, a growling filling his ears and vision going bright blue.

'I destroy everything I touch.'

James gritted his teeth and struggled to take a deep breath but the goal proved impossible to achieve; his head began to spin, dizziness making his legs turn into jelly.

'The stupid pills aren't working! Gah!'

James' mix-matched eyes flew open once more when he felt Xavier's now talon-like hands sink into his skin.

The bright blue energy dancing around his fingertips began to dissipate, first in intensity and then color. The bright blue faded to a stark gray before it turned pure white and disappeared, all of it bathing Xavier's hands in a light show of energy ranging from heavy navy to soft aqua in shade. James' eye began to return to its natural color once more, his suit glitching back and forth. He hung his head to avoid having to see his leathery skin flashing from deep violet to dark brown and back again, to avoid taking in the all-bone-and-no-skin of his right hand, to not have to feel the hideousness of his lips trapped in a permanent, ghoulish grin.

'I hate me.'

Xavier's long nails pulled free from James' shoulders, the brunet still so dizzy that he had to catch him or else he'd collapse to the floor. James hid his wet eyes behind his trembling hands, soft sniffles leaving him while Xavier sighed sadly and began to stroke his hair.

Over the years Xavier has taken note on just how much sweet comfort James got from fingers running through his hair. Sure he had a strict "no touch" rule with strangers when it came to his windswept chocolate locks but with his family, especially his father, he never tried to stop them when they wanted to help. It was something Xavier began to do when James was eight and it's been a habit since then; something told the raven-haired man that James' mother, his biological mother, use to do the same thing back when he was still...normal, for lack of a better word.

Just like how Dak could fall asleep only after listening to music before bed, or how Camille never went anywhere without the woven bracelet she wore around her left wrist.

Traces of their past that somehow were still tangible puzzle pieces to them, but that had no real significance in their current present.

Xavier was pulled out of his train of thought when James finally found his voice, pushing away gently from the tall man's embrace and shoving his hands away in his pockets. Even though he was still a little loopy, he tried to pull off his usual "I'm cool, no worries" act. "S-sorry about that, Dad. I'm guessing my body's growing immune to the pills? I just glitched like big time, I should tell Mom about this later." He said, hoping Xavier wouldn't force him to 'fess up right now.

Xavier fed off the energy James, Dak, Camille, Lucy, Stephanie and Shay released when they glitched. In a way it benefited both parties: the children wouldn't experience constant glitches due to containing too much power, and Xavier wouldn't starve to death. Unlike them, Xavier could not eat food. He wasn't half proxy like the children; he wasn't still growing, wasn't still aging. He was going to look the same forever, never age or "die" while his children and wife grow and age. He would still look the same even when Kelly was on her deathbed: dry of vitality, withered and weak with little to no light in her eyes.

Even though James and his brothers and sisters could technically live forever, they would change over time.

Proxies, well mostly incomplete proxies, never remained the same. They, like time, were constantly moving and constant moving required change and adaptation. The only reason why James and his brothers and sisters knew what they looked like before the fire, the only reason the cloaking app in their suits knew how they were suppose to look like at sixteen was because of the flyers.

The missing persons flyers that the children's mother Brooke had put up days after their disappearance, before lack of info caused the poor woman to die of a broken heart.

He, his brothers and sisters and Xavier could live forever, but Kelly and their friends couldn't.

James eyed the bathroom door to his right, an idea forming. "Dad, mind if I use the bathroom real quick? You can go and wake Shay up or something, I just need to...wash my face."

'Okay, that didn't sound as stupid as it did in my head. Wash my face, seriously now?' The brunet scolded himself, his usual sarcastic streak coming out but soon he relaxed when Xavier nodded and pulled him in for another quick embrace before bowing his head and turning to face the stairs again.

The look he shot over his shoulder said a lot, though. It said, and James didn't need to read his father's mind to know he was on the dot, "I'm going to tell your mother about this. Not now but later, now relax and then eat. You try to skip again and you're grounded, young man."

"Crystal clear, Dad. Thanks...really, thanks." James said. He mustered a weak smile before Xavier vanished before his eyes, struggling to curve his fingers around the brightly polished knob without losing his nerve.

**_-Page Break-_**

James didn't use the sink. Proxies coming into contact with water was like giving a stick of dynamite to an idiot: only guaranteed a total disaster. Of course they could manage to bathe for the sake of still being human, but too much exposure was dangerous.

Still, James merely leaned against the cool, smooth porcelain and took in a deep breath, trying to keep his composure in check. With a heavy heart (literally), he reached behind his neck and lightly tapped the skin just below the soft waves of his chocolate-brown hair, closing his eyes for ten whole minutes. As he waited he striped off his gloves, tossing them into the sink.

'Breathe in, breathe out. Don't lose your cool; just relax and take it all in'. He's seen his face before, how it really looks like. He's had to see it every day before putting on his suit, it's old news just how hideous his face, well his entire body actually, was without the cloaking app.

But if he could, James would burst out in a cold sweat. He would burst out in a cold sweat if he could and if he could really cry, really really cry, then he would do that too.

He didn't want to see his face, but he knew that if he didn't right now then he wouldn't be able to relax later.

A flash of pale green light shined under his eyelids, before soon his bare eyeballs were hit full-force with the florescent light above his head. James hissed but didn't flinch away from the sink, taking another deep breath before he was finally facing himself in the mirror.

The suit, once a soft dark brown, was now transparent. It pooled at James' feet as he striped out of it, only to be gathered in his arms and tossed over his shoulder; it landed on the towel rack by the bathtub perfectly, the brunet's eyes releasing black tears.

Black tears: thick, large drops of weird-smelling oil mixed with "blood". Those tears trailed down his face, his real face.

Even though he didn't have to remove the suit to see his real reflection, taking it off made it feel more real. It made the experience feel more real, the experience of seeing himself as he is and...the pain of his reality lessen.

James winced.

Well, lessen even if only by a tiny bit.

Staring back at him in the mirror, was a teenage boy. Sixteen, just like him and padded with fairly toned muscles. He wasn't built too big like a pro wrestler but more like a beginning weightlifter. It still surprised him that he was able to lose all the baby fat he had as a kid, since most of the skin and muscle tissue clinging to...his "skeleton", for lack of a better word, was mostly decayed and tight around his joints. Thanks to the "blood" running through his veins though, he was still able to grow up like a normal boy.

Wow, the word normal has never felt so foreign to him.

Over the toned muscles the skin was a deep violet. Some areas were so charred they were a permanent pitch black, like the skin around his eyes (his eyelids were gone; he couldn't blink, and his left eye was black all over like a shiny marble), his lips, his palms, ankles and everywhere else from the waist down. Kelly didn't know why his skin had taken on a deep violet color, or why the others were either a faded gray, sickly blue, yellowish-green, dark blue or bleach white. The only guess she had was that the chemicals had different, bizarre effects on them. It was also strange, how the areas where his skin darkened to black looped around and made intertwining patterns around his lower back, over his shoulders and along the nape of his neck. They looked like chains, or a big uneven zig-zag that was common with a heart monitor. The clothes that he had "died" in, a pair of white shorts (well, now a dark crimson thanks to old, dried blood) and a blue tank, had become part of his skin. He couldn't take them off; they had stretched to accommodate his body once puberty settled in, but they were literally attached to him. If he tried to pick at them, it would irritate his leathery skin and hurt. Hurt really bad.

He's given up on trying to pry them off; he stopped trying after he turned ten.

Oh, and his right hand (and whole arm) was all-bone-and-no-skin.

He didn't let his thoughts linger on that too much...

James crossed his arms over his chest, as if trying to hide himself from the mirror's reach.

His face, however, was still in clear view.

His hair, once a soft silky mane, had been burned so badly that it was now a stringy, limp and tangled mess of brittle. He had his hair fairly long as a kid, enough to go pass his ears, but thanks to the damage the fire caused it was now almost lifeless, at his shoulders and a coal black; it carried the stench of weathered wood and ash. His hair was still growing like normal but for an unknown reason never went past his shoulders.

Maybe the cells in his skin weren't completely out of commission, but proxy tech can't repair and replace every single little thing.

'But if only it could fix my face.' James thought bitterly, wiping away his tears with the back of his hand. The other was still gripping at the sink, as if he was afraid letting go would cause him to topple backwards.

His face, above everything else was what he hated the most. Of what he had as a face.

The skin of his face had the same leathery texture to it as the rest of his body, but was stretched much tighter over his high cheekbones and strong chin. His right eye, instead of being the lively hazel-green it was before the fire, was severely red-rimmed and now a dull brownish-gray. There were specks of green still there in between, but only if someone was really looking for them.

His left eye wasn't so pretty either, though.

His left eye...it didn't seem much like an eye honestly. It was the same size as an eyeball, moved about its socket like an eyeball, but it was black and shiny like a large marble or very small bowling ball. Even though it had no distinct features to it, James could see with it just as well he could with his right eye. It shined in strong lights and glowed a bright blue when he glitched out, but if someone punched him there he wouldn't feel pain. In fact sensations were very numbed around his eyes, lips, whole face. His legs, arms, stomach and back were extremely sensitive, but his face was hard and worn out like rust or leather. He had also had no control over how his left eye moved; it could roll back into his skull seven times in a row and he wouldn't notice, or be able to stop it.

The proxy tech inside saved him, but also completely transformed him.

And James didn't know why his badly burned lips were in a smile, dried blood all over his chin and tongue nonexistent. He was sure he did not embrace death with a smile on his face, but when he woke up as an incomplete proxy at the age of seven, that was the condition he found his face in.

Ugly. Ugly, worn out and dead with a hungry look in his eyes and creepy smile on his lips. His teeth were still intact, but his gums were crusted over with dried blood and it was really hard to move his jaw properly most days.

Even the Joker looked better than him. At least he could pull off bright red lips and the signature, creepy smile. On James it didn't look good, didn't look good at all. It looked like the brunet was trying too hard to look like a psychopath; not the dangerously charming psychopath though, but a cheap knock-off of a psychopath.

He could be Joker's loser of a cousin three times removed.

'Nothing can fix this. I hate this, I hate this so much...' James nearly jumped in surprise when his cell-phone suddenly went off on top of the medicine cabinet, the screen flashing and lighting up his lock screen image: the silhouette of a tall man holding a red rose against the full moon.

That was the icon for the garage band he and brothers and sisters created back when they were thirteen: Chained Away Angels.

Their father Xavier was the major inspiration pool for the final band icon. The guy was just as amazing in posing for art as he was being their father/bodyguard/babysitter.

James drew his lock pattern and checked who texted him. Despite the fact that he was feeling absolutely miserable just a few minutes ago, his depressed air fell apart to a more brighter, happier outlook. And it was because of who had texted him.

**Morning Jay, be there in ten! Only THREE days left until October, hope you're excited! :)**

**-Kendizzle.**

That's right, three days left until October. Because Kelly's little "angels" didn't remember when their birthdays were and they all woke up at the age of seven during the month of October eleven years ago, Xavier had decided that October would be the teens' birthday month. Dak's birthday fell on October second, Stephanie's on the fourth, Lucy's on the eighth, Shay's on the tenth, Camille's was October twelve, and James' was October fourteen. Xavier's birthday was decided to be on the thirty-first, Halloween.

Kelly was the only one without a birthday in October in the family. Her birthday was in August. Still, she always managed to have fun planning her kids' parties and getting busy in the kitchen.

'My birthday's in seventeen days; I'll be seventeen soon.' James felt a little flutter in his stomach at this, hands loosening their grip on the sink.

It always scared and surprised him, that even though he hated himself and still wished he had died in that fire, how knowing his birthday was just around the corner made him feel...normal.

Incomplete proxies didn't have to have birthdays. They could just grow up, get older without having to get a party going or blowing out the candles on a birthday cake. He and his brothers and sisters didn't have to look forward to their birthdays; after all, they were technically immortal so they could die only to come back as different people in a month or two. They would be the same to each other, but they wouldn't look the same.

Yet the fact that Kelly wanted them to feel like they were ordinary teenagers, they were STILL normal like the kids at their high school gave them the impression that for one day, they WERE normal. That for one day they can BE normal, and ignore the whole proxy thing for a while.

And that was good enough for James, at least for now.

**Ha, nice wake-up call K-Dog! Totally pumped for Halloween, can't wait to get my scare on! Meet you in the kitchen in ten, gotta make sure I'm looking my usual drop-dead gorgeous self! ;)**

**-Jamez.**

James pulled his suit and gloves back on once his text to Kendall was sent, deciding to change the outfit on the cloaking app he was going to wear for today.

'Damn it Lu, you got me hooked on Sebastian's Victorian fetish.' James thought with a playful smile on his lips, glad his hideous face was gone.

He was back to being a devilishly handsome brunet with deep hazel-green eyes, a dashing smile on his perfect lips with the body of a Greek god. He was now dressed in a crisp, nicely pressed white long-sleeved shirt, the sleeves rolled up at his elbows and the collar neatly tucked in. A few of the top buttons were undone, showing off a little of his strong chest, with a black vest over it. He was wearing black skinny jeans and polished black dress shoes, his house keys, car keys, pepper spray and wallet now hanging from the long chain on his jeans.

'Don't I look amazing?' James admired his "reflection" as best as he could, since in reality the mirror was showing what was under the hazel-green eyes, brown hair and angelic face.

But the brunet refused to accept that...monstrosity in the mirror as him, no way was he going to stoop so low.

This was him, this beautiful devil of a gentleman. He was a gentleman, a devil and angel all in one. He wasn't ugly, he wasn't a monster.

This was him, this was him.

James smiled a seemingly innocent smile rather seductive in nature, running his index finger over his bottom lip slowly, sensuously. He chuckled lightly to himself, running his tongue over his upper lip while his free hand picked up his phone again and he drew his lock pattern again. His smile grew at the face now flashing on his screen with a response text, he doing his best to push his insecurities and self-hatred to the back of his mind.

Calm, cool, collected and confident. That was what made him James Maxwell-Wainwright. He knew what his last name use to be, Diamond but he no longer went by it. That name...it no longer belonged to him. That James, James Diamond, died in that fire eleven years ago.

This was him now, James Maxwell-Wainwright. This was him now and he had no desire to go back to being James Diamond.

That name meant nothing to him now.

'Calm, cool, collected and confident.' James took a deep breath, in through his nose and slowly out of his mouth, before his seemingly innocent smile was back.

"Show time."


	2. I'm Only Gonna Break your Heart

Hello! Well since I promised my sisters I'd have breakfast with them tomorrow around eleven (I tend to avoid people during the month of March because of a personal reason but that doesn't the stop guilt from eating me from inside), I've decided to post the next chapter of 'Proxy' up today! It's a little on the short side, since I want to build up the pace slowly at the moment plus I want to keep my focus mainly on 'Love the Way You Lie' until it's over but please enjoy this next chapter! Thank you to everyone who has shown support for this story so far! It's only the first chapter up and you're already asking for more, that's just amazing! Thank you again so much everyone, and without further delay here is the new chapter! D**isclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush or Shay Hanson! All I own is the story's overall plot and the OCs mentioned and/or used!**

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Kendall Knight, Carlos Garcia, and Logan Mitchell piled out of the dirty blond's car once they pulled up to the driveway of the Maxwell-Wainwright residence. With backpacks hanging from their shoulders and energetic (surprising since it was Monday) sparks in their eyes, Kendall led the way to the front door and knocked three times.

"You think Jay and the gang are up?" Carlos asked, his large dark chocolate eyes taking on a caramel shade in the bright L.A. sun.

"I'm sure they are, Jay replied to my texts and I sent them like five minutes ago." Kendall answered his hyper Latino friend, Logan taking in the front yard decorations with a slightly uneasy smile.

"I see Papa Maxwell and Mama Wainwright got up at the crack of dawn to get the house ready for Halloween." He pointed out, the hand not in Carlos' gesturing to the decor outside.

The Maxwell-Wainwright residence was a reasonably large two-story house, well reasonably large to house six teenagers and two adults. Its body was a soft white, not exactly eggshell but more of a bleached cream with dark red shutters and a front door in a rich chestnut wood. Everything was well maintained, gutters clean and the mix-matched stone tiles leading up to the front door swept clean and free of dirt, but the house had no outside light sources in either the front or backyard. There was actually no lights on in the house at the moment, all natural sun glow thanks to the curtains being drawn back to let the outside world in, but long shadows could been moving from room to room.

Everyone in the Maxwell-Wainwright residence was up, getting ready for another day of school.

Carlos grinned at his boyfriend's uneasy look. The taller raven-haired boy didn't mind Halloween, but James' family took the holiday very seriously.

"At least we know they're getting into the spirit, right? I mean look at all the other houses on this block, they're so bland!" He said, Kendall agreeing a hundred percent.

It was true, the only house on the block so wonderfully decorated for October was indeed the Maxwell-Wainwright residence. The face of the house has been covered from roof to front steps in cobwebs. They were long, stringy and pitch black that glistened a silvery-opal when hit by the sun. Large, beady-eyed spiders (all robotic, Xavier sure was crafty!) cast their hungry, piercing gazes on the three boys as they walked along the silky threads, graceful like figure skaters.

Even though they weren't real, the boys couldn't help but feel a little nervous being around them. Xavier was very good at making things with his hands, plus he was a natural-born researcher. He never made something come to life without getting all the facts and intricate details just right.

That was one of the reasons the boys, Logan and Kendall especially, really liked Xavier. Other than the fact that he was just an awesome dad to the D and played hockey with them on weekends.

The front steps of the house weren't showered in cobwebs but painted with large, carefully splattered drops of fake blood that led to the gravestones placed in the front yard. The gravestones had the usual Halloween spook messages, like "Don't look back", "Boo!" and "Happy Halloween!" but were not plastic; Xavier, with some help from Dak, had actually took the time to make his own gravestones, out of smooth gray rocks he found around the backyard.

It took him at least two years to carve the messages and make the gravestones look as realistic as possible; all of that was clear in his final results, they did look realistic and the fact the messages were written in fake blood totally fit the ballot of creepy. The tall man even went ahead and made small skeletal hands claw through the dirt and soft, lively green grass, all painted and made from old toys. The family always followed the three Rs: Reduce, reuse and recycle. Xavier could make anything out of something old, or even nothing. The boys wouldn't put it pass him to build a car from scratch with just a few spare parts.

Xavier didn't talk, at all, but he sure raked in the goods of what he could do with his hands.

The shutters of the windows were decorated in either fake blood, cobwebs, cobwebs soaked in blood or small disembodied heads. The heads were missing eyes, some even noses or lower jaws, and fake blood dripped down from them too. It gave the impression that the house was crying. On the roof was a Slenderman figurine, also made by Xavier, with his tentacles drawn out and hands curved into sinister-looking claws. His faceless presence, in addition to the lifeless skeletons hanging from the trees by nooses and glowing, red eyes in the bushes, wouldn't tempt even a kid going trick-or-treating for the first time ever to approach the house.

The fact that the welcome mat would let out ear-splitting screams when stepped on and that Slenderman's tentacles were moving, even in the daytime, would just make a potential trick-or-treater turn and run the hell away.

'Papa Maxwell always says he tries to keep the creepy atmosphere low for little kids, but I swear he does all this on purpose.' Kendall thought, finally realizing that no one has answered the door since he knocked.

"Um, maybe they're still sleeping after all? Shay always forgets to set his alarm." Logan said, though Kendall didn't look convinced.

"Guys I swear James replied to my texts. He didn't waste time answering; it only took him like two seconds for both to text back." He said, going for a fourth knock.

That was when they heard commotion behind the door. It sounded like someone complaining about something, but the voice was so muffled the boys couldn't tell who was complaining and if someone was talking back.

"Um, Jay? Jay, is that you? It's us, dude mind opening the door?" Carlos called out. A shuffling sound to their left, that prompting the boys to move their eyes to the nearest window, the living room window.

A pair of eyes appeared behind the stiff curtains for a few minutes before they vanished just as quickly as they came around, they flashing so fast out of sight that not even Logan, who was usually the most sharp-eyed of the four boys, couldn't tell if it was James' eyes they had just saw or maybe Lucy's or even Kelly's.

"Okay...James!" Kendall called this time, rapping at the door with his knuckles.

A clicking sound resonated out of the blue, followed by a shuffling once more behind the door. Said door was thrown back as if by a heavy wind, startling the three slightly as they crossed the threshold into the hallway. Kendall, Logan, and Carlos pulled off their jackets and dumped their backpacks by the coat rack, the smell of fresh blueberry pancakes and sizzling turkey bacon coming from the kitchen.

"Yay breakfast! Oh, Mama Wainwright's making bacon!" Carlos chirped, getting a fond eye-roll from Logan.

"You and your bacon." He mumbled softly, getting a light glare and elbow to the ribs from the shorter teen.

"I could say the same thing about your and 'not-so-true' tea addiction, Logie." He pointed out, Logan's vanilla pale skin going strawberry pink around the ears in a light blush.

"T-that's different and you know it!"

"Eh I beg to differ, honey."

"Guys, guys chill! You two had this argument the whole ride over here, can we just agree that aliens like PB and J sandwiches and move on?" Kendall asked, sighing in mock annoyance.

The couple now stared at their dirty blond leader with confused expressions.

Where did that come from?

"Why the heck did you bring aliens into this?" Logan asked. His mocha brown eyes were darker than normal, a tell-tale sign that he was over-thinking Kendall's random muse.

"Plus that's not a proven fact, Ken. We don't know yet if aliens like PB and J." Carlos added, clearly not getting what Kendall had been trying to achieve with that comment. He had his beaming smile still in place, oblivious all the way.

Clearly the topic change trick went way over their heads.

Kendall sighed, letting out a sheepish chuckle. "Never mind guys, inside joke. Okay Jamie, Jamie! Jay, are you ready yet or are you still mooning over yourself in the mirror?" Kendall made for the bathroom door to his right to knock and see if the pretty boy was in there, only to freeze in the middle of the hall with an obviously fake smile on his face.

"Oh, there you two are!" He said through gritted teeth, eyes now duller than the normal vivacious bottle green he was famous for having.

Carlos and Logan were quick to sprint to his side, shared gaze falling on the person lounging on the bright orange, L-shaped couch in the living room.

Well, actually persons. There were two people lounging in the living room.

**_-Page_ _Break-_**

James removed his soft, full lips from Shay's left ear, running one finger down the other's chest (Shay's dark blue button-up had the first few buttons undone too) while his face broke out into a small, alluring smile.

"Hey guys, what took you so long?" He asked, calm and collected like normal.

Yet the position he was in didn't match well with his laid-back, casual air.

Shay smiled too from James' lap, waving cutely like a child. "Hey guys, Mom said breakfast is almost ready! Good thing you guys showed up now, or else me and Dak would have won this time around, ha!"

Shay Maxwell-Wainwright (well, his name was really Shay Hanson but he like his brothers and sisters took Kelly and Xavier's last names) was James' older brother. He wasn't the oldest of the boys, that was Dak, but he was older than James by four days. Even though he and Kendall weren't related, the two could pass off as twins: both had short dirty blond hair, were around the same height and had the same built, had blunt noses with dimples in their cheeks when they smiled, bright green eyes and thick eyebrows. Both even liked the same styles of music, knew how to play the guitar and piano, loved the color green and were procrastinators when it came to school. He looked a bit older than Kendall, and Carlos and Logan, even though they were around the same age. Like James and Dak, Shay has been mistaken for a twenty-two year old many times over. The only physical differences between them were that Shay's hair was slightly longer, he had some stubble along his strong chin and his eyes were closer to an olive green.

They may look a lot alike, though their personalities, apart from the small physical differences, were on far ends of the spectrum. Shay was docile, more prone to keeping to himself while Kendall had a fire to him, he had a fire and was not afraid to speak his mind.

He was fairly close to his other siblings, for example Stephanie, but he shared a very "special" bond with James. He was more naive and trusting than Dak or James were, which is why the brunet was famous for his overprotective streak over the older boy. James was fierce when it came to his siblings; nobody messed with any of them and got off easily. That went for his parents too, because he knows that in their neighborhood people talk all the time about the "interracial catastrophe breeding this generation's demise".

Some people didn't like the Maxwell-Wainwright family for stupid reasons, like the fact that Kelly was married to a white man or that none of their children could pass off as theirs. Even in 2014, there were prejudice people in the world.

Which is why James would put them in their place when the comments and insults crossed him.

James wasn't a bad guy, he was sweet and gentle as real men can get nowadays. Getting on his bad side, however, was just another way to clock in an early death date.

Though Kendall didn't look uncomfortable because of James' protectiveness of Shay. That didn't bother him at all.

It was another thing entirely that got under his skin...

"Kendy, you okay?" James asked, eyeing the other blond boy curiously.

A heavy silence lingered before Kendall realized the brunet was addressing him, he snapping out of his trance to fully take in those beautiful hazel-green eyes.

They were so beautiful, impossibly beautiful.

"Huh, what?"

"You spaced out, Shay was asking if you want us to head to the dining room. I'm sure Mom could use some help setting the table." James said, head tilted to the side in confusion.

Well it looked like confusion on the outside, but on the inside he was in pain.

'I'm hurting him, I can tell.' He thought. Kendall wasn't one to fake a good mood all that often, but only James can truly pick apart his body language and know if he was hiding something or not.

And right now, he was hiding the fact that he was hurting.

Kendall's fake smile was still in place as he nodded, running a hand through his untidy hair. "O-oh right, sure! Sorry about that, guess I'm still drowsy from waking up this morning. I hate Mondays." He said, looking away from James and Shay as his eyes slowly began to burn. Logan and Carlos looked from Kendall to James and back again, identical sad looks in their eyes.

If only their friends would just tell each other how they really feel. Everyone, from Carlos and Logan to Jo and Wally, knew about the Maxwell-Wainwright family secret. Everyone knew what James, Dak, Camille, Shay, Stephanie and Lucy really looked like.

Well, everyone knew what Dak, Camille, Shay, Stephanie and Lucy really looked like. They were not afraid to walk around the house without their suits and gloves. They have long ago accepted what happened to them, it was no longer a reality they denied.

But James, James was the tough case to crack. He's only shown his real face to Carlos and Logan. Jo, Wally, Jett and the rest of the gang have seen his face too, but only through drawings Shay has done over the years. Proxies can't be caught on video footage; their presence would only distort the video feed, making it practically impossible to tell what is being filmed. The only way to see what a proxy really looked like, without technology, was through a mirror or drawing them out.

And James avoided mirrors like the plague, and now rarely posed for a sketch. He didn't like seeing what he really was, so he tried to pretend that he wasn't a proxy.

And with that, he's never shown his real face to Kendall. Kendall was the only person who has yet to see the brunet's face.

See his eyelid-less eyes, his brittle dark hair and frozen, ghoulish grin.

James would not be able to live with himself if Kendall...if Kendall ever saw just how hideous, how ugly and terrifying he really looked.

The possibility of rejection was what held him back, that was the sad truth.

Rejection...

James could smell that was a lie even before Kendall thought of it. He fought the urge to say something consoling for the blond, though.

'I have to keep this up. It's the only way; once he stops caring about me...that way, then everything can be okay again. Besides me and Shay are use to this, we have no problems keeping up the bromance. I'm only doing this to protect you, Kendall.' James mentally winced at his train of thought, batting said troubling thoughts away or else his smile would slip.

"Cool, come on then guys. You too, Shay. Last time you nearly missed breakfast, Dad chewed me out for that. Thanks a lot by the way, he grounding me for two weeks was SO much fun." James said, clearly being sarcastic yet the fondness in his eyes was everything but fake.

With the grace of a gazelle James rose from the couch with Shay in his arms, said blond nearly squeaking in surprise when the brunet pressed their bodies together. James smiled and leaned again so that his lips brushed Shay's left ear once more, one hand on his hip while the other re-did the top buttons of the blond's shirt.

"There, all fixed." Was all James said before he put Shay down and started to lead the way to the kitchen. That didn't stop him though from stealing a full-blown kiss from Shay's unsuspecting lips, all done right in front of Kendall.

Said blond bit the inside of his cheek to keep from lashing out at the brunet for the stunt, only resorting to rolling his eyes.

'Yet even if I pretend I don't care, deep down I really do. James, you idiot...why do this to me when I KNOW you feel the same way about me?' Kendall didn't want this thought to keep coming up, but it was the truth.

He knew James cared about him more as more than just a best friend. He knew James better than anyone; even if he hasn't seen the brunet's real face, he knew him like the back of his hand.

He knew and while he also knew why James was trying so hard to push him away, that didn't mean he liked to acknowledge it most days.

It hurt too much sometimes, James' little "Heartbreaker" routine...

"HEY GUYS!"

"WHAT?!" All the boys jumped and screamed as...Camille showed suddenly appeared hanging upside in the middle of the hallway, her wide coffee eyes shining as she waved hi to them. As if it was perfectly normal for her to be hanging upside down in the middle of the hallway. Good thing she was wearing a helmet or else her head would crash, hard, into the floor work.

"Jesus fucking Christ, damn it Cam! What the hell?!" James exclaimed, Carlos and Logan holding onto each other as if they were about to be eaten by a giant worm. Shay was cowering against James, Kendall using the door frame as support.

Camille grinned a sickly sweet cat-grin, long curly dark brown hair off her shoulders in a messy ponytail. "Ha, just trying out some of the trapdoors in the attic! Dad's planning on having some decorations drop in and scare some trick-or-treaters before giving them their candy! Isn't this cool, I think we should totally have that scarecrow Mom made last year drop down here! What do you guys think, this Halloween will be the best one yet!" She cheered, managing a quick wave goodbye before she was pulled back to the attic, she cheering and screaming all the way there.

"Haha, gotcha Jay!" Lucy shouted from the attic, her voice bouncing off the walls.

"Fuck you, Lu!"

"Jay, dude language!" Carlos reprimanded playfully. James only rolled his eyes, shooting a mild glare the Latino's way.

"You try watching your language when two of your sisters are fucking harpies!"

The guys continued to stand awkwardly in the doorway for a few minutes before Xavier walked into the room behind them, embracing them easily with his long arms and a big smile on his lips. His too blue-green eyes were twinkling. Shay met his father's eyes for a few minutes before a sigh left him.

"Okay Dad, you win." Shay said, untangling himself from James' arms and turning to face him.

"He wants me to set the table, by myself, since I almost slept in today. I'll catch you guys later in the dining room, ugh I hate setting the table...!" Xavier's smile turned smug as he gently ushered his son away, leaving Kendall, Carlos, Logan and James alone in the living room.

"Well, that was fun." Logan said, finally breaking the silence. James let out a laugh, his hazel-green eyes darker than normal.

"What did you expect from this house? Normal is so not our forte." He responded, nudging Logan in the side. Logan rolled his eyes, pulling Carlos closer to him.

"So now what do we do?" Carlos asked.

"I'm going to the dining room to help Shay, I'll let you guys know when breakfast is set." James said, not bothering to shoot Kendall a grin like he did Logan and Carlos on his way out.

Kendall tried his best to look okay on the outside, and he did a pretty good job actually. But inside the pain was getting worse.

'I want to hate you, but I can't. Just why the fuck do you have to toy with me like this, James?'

**_-Page Break-_**

'It's for the best, Kendall. I'm only going to break your heart in the end, so do me a favor and fuck off my case. You wouldn't understand if you knew the truth, if you knew...the real me.'


	3. It's Where My Demons Hide

Well, hello! I just thought of updating 'Proxy' again! Don't worry, I'm still focusing hard on the final chapters of 'Love the Way You Lie'! Even though it's close to being completed there is still quite a few chapters concerning the Kames vs Jhay subplot so I hope that is good news for my dear readers! Still, 'Proxy' is another big project and like I like to handle big projects, I want to update this story at least one or twice this week along with 'Love the Way You Lie'. I won't update at all this upcoming weekend since I'll be without internet access, plus it's Captain America weekend for me and my family! Me and my sister are so stoked for it, I can't wait! Now, I had struggle on deciding what to write for this new chapter. I was torn between introducing the rest of the Maxwell-Wainwright family or skipping ahead to the school and introducing them later. After careful consideration, I decided to have a Jhay-flavored (not romantically flavored!) chapter for the third chapter and then introduce the rest of the proxy family. Like mentioned in the last chapter, James and Shay are really close brothers (well bros/best friends/friends with benefits I guess) and with James glitching out in the first chapter, there has to be someone he can trust with that little news. Xavier will "talk" it over with Kelly, since they're very protective parents, but sometimes talking to someone your age helps with a problem. Wow, long author's note! Okay shutting up now, enjoy this new chapter! Thank you to my dear Sara-san, my sister Enigma and Chey21 for reviewing the last posted chapter! Totally appreciate it and thank you to everyone for the favorites and follows! :) Thank you and enjoy this new chapter of 'Proxy'! **Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush or Shay Hanson! All I own is the story's overall plot and the OCs mentioned and/or used!**

* * *

"Jay, why are we down here? We're suppose to be setting the table for Mom." Shay said, confused as to why James was leading him by the hand to the basement.

In the basement was their mom's lab, the secret lab where all her inventions, test results, and other records on Proxy-logy were stored. The only people who had access to it were the children, Xavier and Kelly herself via codes that were changed every three months to ensure maximum security. Of course Kelly had other means of guarding her illegal study, with retina scans and fingerprint scans and voice recognition locks, not to mention her children and husband had powers that could obliterate a person where they stood (if such drastic measures were needed) but she wanted to depend more on her own abilities. She understood that Xavier would survive a hand-to-hand confrontation better than her due to being a proxy, but she was the one who created Proxy-logy in the first place.

If something was to put her family at risk because of her own mistakes, she would happily go to prison if it meant saving them. Saving them from being taken in by the FBI or CIA and turned into lab rats for classified, yet certainly inhuman, science experiments.

One of Kelly's biggest fears was that Xavier and the kids would be killed, put down like animals and taken apart so the sick scientists can see, up close and personal, what kept their "corpses" from decomposing.

Xavier and the kids, they may not be "normal" per say but they were still human, still had thoughts and feelings and emotions of their own. But of course since humans are such complex creatures, fearing everything they didn't understand and rejecting it due to that fear...Kelly was certain they wouldn't be seen as innocent, fragile human beings.

They would be seen as freaks, mistakes of nature or worse...monsters.

What humans didn't understand they assigned as monsters. Either for money or fame, if it meant lashing out at someone for being different then millions of people would line up for a piece of the cruel, heartless action.

Just like from one of Shay's favorite songs, 'No matter what we breed, we are still made of greed'.

James sighed as they finally got to the door that led to the lab, yet he didn't make a motion to type in his access code. He merely dropped Shay's hand and leaned against the cool, metal door with his arms crossed and an unfathomable expression on his angelic face.

"I know, chill out though Shay. I just want to talk, and Dad's got the ears of a coyote. I don't want anyone to listen in on us, there's something I have to tell you..." James began, struggling to keep going.

Shay's olive green eyes were in seconds clouded with deep worry, he reaching out with a pale, thin hand to cup the brunet's right cheek. "Jay what's wrong, you're going pale on me. What's wrong?"

James sighed again and placed a hand over Shay's on his face. Yet he twisted their fingers about and shoved the warm, gentle touch away as if he was infected with a deadly disease.

Shay felt a pang (metaphorically of course, since a real pang meant trouble) go off in his chest at this. James rarely rejected signs of affection from him. The two were really close, thick as thieves; they may pull off the "friends with benefits" act around Kendall but it was just that: an act. Shay knew James loved Kendall, and vice-versa, plus Shay was in love with someone else.

He was in love with Stephanie. He's been in love with her for a while now but has never gotten around to telling her the truth. And even though he was pretty sure doing his bromance act with James lowered his chances with Steph (he was bi and she had no problem with that, but he could see the sad looks that came to her face every time he and James kissed or hugged) and everything, but the brunet needed help.

James was trying to get Kendall to fall out of love with him. The brunet was so certain that if he showed his real face, Kendall would reject him and see him as a monster.

To Shay that was all bull. Kendall was a great guy, a loyal friend and joker. He always worried about his friends and family, James in particular since he was infamous for having long bouts of depression, and wasn't vain in the slightest. He cared more about a person's heart and personality, their substance over looks. Sure humans to a fault were attracted to attractiveness, but not everyone focused solely on that.

But James' trauma, his emotional and psychological scars were deep. They ran deep below his marred skin, below his permanent grin and hungry-looking dark eyes. They ran very deep, controlling his thoughts and actions to a T.

In short, James believed himself to be hell-bound.

"J-Jay?" James sighed at the slightly scared shake in Shay's usually naive, friendly tone of voice. The brunet ran a hand through his hair, eyes...suddenly cold and empty-looking. It was as if he was miles and miles away.

"Jay..."

"Shay, I'm glitching. And not just glitching but big time glitching. M-Mom's pills...Shay, they're not working like they use to." James said, finally finding his voice once more.

Shay's eyes grew wide, lower jaw now slack as a shiver went down his spine.

'B-but Mom said that if that were to happen...then that meant...'

"Y-you're losing control of your proxy side." He said this part of his concerned thought out loud, James smiling bitterly.

"So it's starting, wow took it long enough." He said with a roll of his eyes. At this Shay grew angry.

"James, shut up!" He exclaimed, that wiping the mock smug look on the taller boy's face.

"S-Shay, calm down now."

"No, no I won't calm down! Damn it Jay, you always do this! You think this is funny?! Losing control, it's fucking dead serious man! Mom told us that proxies are normally feral creatures, dangerous and unstable! Dad is an exception since he's a COMPLETE proxy! He's not constantly having to take pills and battle another side of him, that's not the same gig for us though! Incomplete proxies...we're more dangerous than Dad, and that's saying something!" Shay snapped, one hand having an iron grip on the front of James' vest.

The brunet was a little surprised at his brother's reaction, and the fact that Shay was using his inhuman strength and lifting him clear off the ground. The only thing keeping him up was the cool, metal door of the lab; Shay drops him now, and he'll fall into a mess of limbs on the hard, rock floor.

James' facial expression softened at seeing traces of black tears beginning to prickle Shay's eyes, he sighing and putting both hands over Shay's buried in his vest and shirt.

"S-Shay...look, I'm sorry."

"Damn right you better be sorry, idiot."

"Okay, okay I get it! I'm stupid, an idiot! I'm being stupid and treating losing control as if it's just a game, and I know it's not! But Shay that's just it, I don't care about losing control anymore!" James growled, eyes flashing dangerously.

Shay gasped and dropped his hold on the other boy. James managed to get a semi-steady landing on his heels while Shay began to cower into the opposite wall, his messy tangle of dirty blond hair hiding his even-wider-than-normal eyes and slightly terrified expression.

"Y-you see, you're scared of me! I'm a fucking monster, Shay! I'm finally losing control of it, of this..._thing_ inside. This beast inside me, it's finally breaking free and I don't really want to stop it! I mean why, why stop what I'm really am?! It's my fault Dad is what is he, or did you forget that? Did you forget that because of me, because of fucking me that Dad is a proxy?! DID YOU FORGET THAT I WAS THE ONE WHO KILLED HIM?!" James was screaming now. The concrete walls of the basement made the place sound-proof but if walls could feel then even they would feel the grave effect of his words.

Shay tried to relax, keep himself in check. If he got too scared, then his invisibility ability would kick in and right now he needed to help his brother. With a deep breath Shay backed away from the wall and reached out to touch James' face again, only to get his hand slapped away harshly in return.

James was now on his butt on the cold, smooth floor, knees drawn up to his chest and hands covering his face. He had ripped off his gloves and turned off the cloaking app in his suit; he was back in the bloody, burned and old clothes he died in, his hair pitch black and brittle at his shoulders, hands leathery and a deep violet. His large, ghoulish grin peeked out behind his shaking hands, James drawing them away to reveal his sad, wet and red-rimmed brownish-gray eyes.

He was vulnerable now. James hated showing his real face, how he really looked like but when he was like this, broken and struggling...he was more willingly than usual to strip off the suit and gloves. To strip off his mask, strip away the smoke he cowered behind and expose the demons he had inside.

Not only the demon of the proxy inside him, but the other demons. The demons of self-doubt, self-hatred and confusion.

"Oh Jay..."

"D-don't come any closer, Shay. I'm hell-bound, I'm a monster and I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying it, losing control...maybe once I let go, this _thing_ inside me will stop."

"B-but Jay it's a part of you. If you keep rejecting it instead of embracing it-"

"No, no, no! That _thing _is nothing like me! It's nothing like me, not a damn part of me! It's disgusting, it's hideous! Look at my face, Shay, do you really think I want Kendall of all people to see this? To see me like this, see this _thing_?! This _thing_ killed Dad and turned him into what he is now! I-I had no control over it and it broke free and...it k-killed Dad and left Mom scarred! Dad isn't like us, Shay! He use to be normal, h-human and then I...! I took that away from him; the only way Mom had to bring him back was to turn him into a complete proxy! He was dead and so it didn't take as much time and effort for her to turn him like it took her to do for us! Don't say it's a part of me, Shay, because it's fucking not!

James forced himself to stand up, fingering his ghoulish grin. "T-this smile, why the fuck was I smiling when we died?! Why didn't Mom just left me to die, why didn't she just take you, Cam, Lu, Steph and Dak?! Obviously you guys handle this whole proxy shit better than me! You guys can find good things from it, but not me! I hate my face, I hate this body! I hate me, I-I wish I could go back to looking how I use to! I don't like using my suit to look normal, I don't like wearing my gloves to hide the fact that one of my arms is all bone and no skin!

James moved his hands to his eyes, fingers probing the skin were his eyelids use to be. "K-Kendall...he's my best friend in the whole wide world. I love Logan and Carlos, but with him there's always been this special bond. He understands me better than anyone I've ever met, he knows me better than you and you're my brother. He gets me, he knows me...but this _thing_ I just can't show him! If you cut me, I don't bleed! Fuck, my 'blood' is just serum, oil and red coloring! If I touch a burning candle, I feel nothing! I'm basically a walking corpse, Shay, a zombie! Why would Kendall give up the chance of being with someone NORMAL for me?! Some people are made to be alone forever, Shay! Some people are just fated to be alone and I'm one of them, I'm one of them!

"Kendall is innocent, nice, sweet, wonderful, every positive word in the fucking dictionary! I'm a machine, half machine half zombie! When it's time for me to 'die', I'll just be recycled and be back in two months tops! I'll look different and be different but still be me, I'll never really die! What can I possibly give to him when I'm just meant to destroy everything I touch?! I killed Dad, who says I won't lose control around Kendall and do the same?!

"But James, you didn't mean for that to happen!"

"So what, does it matter? No it doesn't, Shay. I want to protect Kendall, I want to hide the truth from him as much as I can. I d-don't want to push him away, but if he gets too close then he'll see what's really inside. I don't want him to get too close, because then...then he'll be dragged into this mess I call my life. This _thing_ wants to break free, it hates being caged. It's a monster, Shay. I've been fighting it for so long, but I feel like every day my want to fight it dies. I can't accept it as part of me, but I'm tired of fighting it at the same time. If it was possible, I'd ask Mom to shut me down.

"S-shut you down?"

"Yes, shut me down. Pull the plug on me, throw me away like an old cell-phone or whatever you prefer to say. If it was possible and Mom didn't love me like she does, I'd ask her to shut me down. That would be the only way for this _thing_ to leave me alone, and not hurt anyone else. You know Kendall doesn't know what I did to Dad, none of our friends know. If I were to show my face, then I'd have to tell him that. I'd have to tell him what I did to Mom and Dad; he'd see that I'm no fucking angel, that I'm really a monster that can't run away from what he is. Shay, if he were to look into my eyes right now...he'd only see that _thing_. He'd see its face, and just how rotten it is to the core. It's getting stronger, Shay, it's getting stronger...

"D-does Mom know? Or Dad?"

"Dad was there when I glitched, thank God. He already made it clear that he'll let Mom know about it and no doubt begin working on stronger pills for me to take but...but Shay don't tell the others." James said, body language and mood now completely different: his face went emotionless as he pulled on his suit and gloves again, his eyelid-less face and brittle black hair vanishing once more. He was back in his "normal" skin, eyes now dry and hard.

The hazel-green of his eyes was back, but they were too hard. They were too hard and distant, nothing like the normal lively fire James held inside. Or better to say, the practiced lively fire he held inside. There wasn't even traces of gold or red in his eyes, which gave subtle hints on just how distressed or happy he was at the time.

His eyes were...dead, hallow.

Because of the demons inside, they left him hallow and dark and bitter.

Shay swallowed hard, torn between agreeing to James' offer or denying it all together. But James' face was desperate, terrified of the idea of Dak, Stephanie, Camille and Lucy finding out just how unhinged he really was. He was willing to share this secret with Shay, because he trusted him so much and was the one that always looked out for him, but apart from him and their parents he wanted this to stay a secret.

"P-please, don't tell the others about this okay? I don't want anyone else to know, just you and Mom and Dad."

"But Jay, they're our siblings. They'll notice something's up with you and be worried, what good will that do?" Shay pointed out, the brunet allowing his touch this time as he embraced him tightly in a hug.

James sighed into Shay's right shoulder and hugged back, closing his eyes.

"I know, I know but please don't tell them. If you can help get a better grip on my sanity then sure help me out, but please keep this between us." James whispered, biting his lower lip.

'If they notice something's off, no doubt Kendall will too.' James added silently in his head.

A heavy silence fell over the two boys for who knows how long before Shay sighed and nodded in response, running his free hand though James' hair in comfort.

"O-okay, I promise I won't tell the others. And I'll be right there with you if and when Dad gives you stronger pills to take. I'll keep this a secret but Jay, is it really worth it? You know, pushing Kendall away like this and acting like you don't care...when we know you'd do anything for him?" Shay asked, pulling away to press his forehead to James', their eyes locking.

James couldn't respond verbally, so he merely nodded as he stared deep into his brother's eyes.

'I know it, Shay. I know doing this isn't the best option but it's the only one I got. I can't let him get too close, Kendall can't get too close because if he does then...t-then he'll see this _thing_. He's been the only light in my dark tunnel of a life for a while now and I don't want to ruin him. I want to save him, Shay. I want to save him, save him from myself...'


	4. You'll Never Understand My Sickness

Hello. I'm not feeling that good, after a little accident during school but that doesn't discourage me from writing. So, here's a new chapter to 'Proxy'. I apologize now if it was very short; I'm was typing this while in bed and because I took painkillers I felt a little drowsy. Mom always scolds me for doing things while not feeling well, so I decided to take her advice and relax. Still, this chapter is very important in a way because it does have snippets of what happened to James and his brothers and sisters. In other words, what led to them becoming proxies. Exactly what happened that led to that? Well, that question won't be completely answered in this chapter, since that would defeat the purpose of writing this idea out in story form instead of one-shot form, but it will have snippets that I hope gets my wonderful, amazing readers thinking. These snippets of the children's old lives before becoming proxies will show up in later chapters so no worries about this being the only time it will occur, plus snippets concerning Xavier's change from human to complete proxy will show up, randomly, as well. With that being said, thank you again everyone for the support being given to this story; even with 'Love the Way You Lie' close to being done, it touches my heart so to know that 'Proxy' has captured the attention of curious minds like the its predecessor. Thank you again for the reviews and overall positive support. I wouldn't be writing still if not for the support and encouragement of each and every reviewer/reader/follower. It may not seem like a review helps me, but it does really. Everyone's opinion and input matters to me, so thank you once more and without further delay, here is the new chapter. Please enjoy. :) **Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush or Shay Hanson! All I own is the story's overall plot and the OCs mentioned and/or used! Also, flashbacks are represented through italics! This chapter seems very sad to me, especially the tense Kames interaction, so I promise the next chapter will be more lively! Kelly, Stephanie, Lucy, Camille and Dak will be properly introduced in the next chapter! :)**

* * *

_"Tag, you're it!"_

_"Not cool, Steph! You cheated!"_

_"Ha, how can you cheat in tag?"_

_James rolled his eyes as he laughed and began to run, Camille, Lucy, Shay and Stephanie following his lead while Dak was stuck trying to figure out who to go after first._

_The six were on vacation with their mother Brooke. They always went to nice places for the summer, like to the beach in Orlando or sight-seeing in New York City, but this time they all agreed to go to North Carolina for a camping trip. The nice, open space and big tall trees, the fresh air and miles and miles of green mesmerized the children. Of course they were use to such natural beauty, they lived in Sherwood, Minnesota after all, but something about taking a road trip to a state they haven't been to yet made them feel as if they were exploring a leafy, alien world._

_They were just little kids, five years old. They still had their innocence, innocence and wild imaginations._

_"Again, so not cool!" Dak pouted, his dark golden-green eyes shining in the pale rays peaking through the trees surrounding them. The sun was setting, shadows providing great shade from the heat stretching taut over the millions of blades of grass. The children weren't worried about getting in trouble though, being out still with dusk not too far away. They were playing in the small, open area in front of their cabin, Brooke surly watching them go at it from the window._

_"Haha, Dak is mad!" Camille teased playfully, sticking out her tongue. Dak shot her a glare and bolted after her in less than two seconds afterwards, grinning like mad when she started screaming and running around like a maniac._

_"I'm gonna get you, Cami!"_

_"Help, help he's gonna get me!" Lucy decided to step in and try to cut off Dak when he got really close to tagging Camille, she smirking all deviously when he would giver her his famous kicked puppy eyes over and over with each failed attempt._

_"No fair, Lu!"_

_"Fair, smfair Dak!"_

_"Oh no, tag-team!" Stephanie chirped, she leaning on James to keep from toppling over in laughter._

_Said brunet was fighting the urge to burst out snickering too, soft hazel-green eyes dancing with mischief._

_"Hey Shay, maybe you should be Dak's partner to tag Cam!" He exclaimed, only to turn around and see his older brother missing._

_"Shay, Shay where are you?" James left Stephanie and the others behind once he caught sight of shaggy dirty blond hair, Shay straying away from the cabin and going deeper into the woods._

_"Shay!" James shouted again, trying to get the shorter boy's attention. But Shay didn't reply. His olive green eyes were wider than normal, and he had a blank look on his face. He didn't look back at the sound of his name, just continued walking away in a stiff stroll._

_"Shay!"_

_"James!" Stephanie said when said brunet began to follow Shay, that making Dak, Camille and Lucy forget about their pending game of tag and chase after her once she noticed James was ignoring her calls._

_"Guys, wait up!" Lucy shouted, pushing her long hair out of her face._

_"Where are you going?!" Cam asked, pale skin practically going opal in the shade._

_"Shay stop!" Dak added, wondering what's gotten into his younger brother._

_Shay never strayed. He was naive and curious but he rarely went for an adventure alone. He'd usually wait until everyone had their flashlights to explore the woods at night, with Mama in tow._

_He didn't like the dark. Shay was an ____achluophobic; even going through a tunnel in broad daylight freaked him out._

_"Shay, James wait!"_

**_-Page Break-_**

James and Shay headed back up to the dining room, where Xavier was waiting patiently for them with both hands behind his back.

Well, the ones connected to his shoulders, better to say. The other two protruding from the small of his back, resembling more like tentacles than hands this time around, were carrying a syringe along with a small bottle filled with clear liquid.

The table was nicely set behind him. Looks like Xavier knew James and Shay had went off without getting everything ready, so he stepped in and worked his magic in their stead. He didn't look upset at the boys though; they took that as a good sign, that they weren't in trouble. He did look a little uncomfortable, however, probably from what he was holding in his extra hands.

James swallowed hard, Shay taking his brother's hand and giving it a light squeeze.

There was no doubt in their minds that that clear, thick-looking liquid was James' "new and improved" medicine, to replace the now ineffective (on him) pills. The brunet was beginning to wish his father had not been there now though, because he really hated needles.

He didn't do so well with them. Just seeing one made his mind go blank with terror, and he really wasn't looking forward to feeling one pierce his skin either.

'But if it will keep me from glitching...' He reminded himself solemnly with a quiet, heavy sigh.

"Hey Dad, is that Jay's?" Shay asked, he pulling up two chairs from the dining table for him and James to sit in.

Xavier nodded and gave James a gentle smile, silently promising to be as gentle and fast with the injection as he possibly could. It was no secret his youngest son had a bad history with needles, needles and hospitals too.

James may not remember any doctor visits as a kid, but Xavier did. Kelly had programmed everything of the children's old lives into his memory bank once he became a complete proxy, so that they would both be ready for any emergency.

When it came taking precautions, Kelly was the safety queen.

"Well, now I know it's really serious if Mom has to make me take my meds through a needle. Okay, so my right arm?" James asked, rolling up his shirt sleeve. This is the first time he's ever had to take medication via syringe.

Xavier shook his head though and gently placed two fingers under James' strong chin, prompting him to open his mouth with little tickles above his Adam's apple. James' lips curved upwards into a slight smile as a laugh left him, Xavier carefully injecting the clear, thick liquid into the roof of James' mouth.

The brunet fought to repress his gag reflex. He could taste some of the stuff on his tongue as the needle dug into the roof of his mouth, and it tasted disgusting. It was thick for sure, very thick like cottage cheese, and tasted like pickle juice mixed with fish oil.

James knew how pickle juice mixed with fish oil tasted like. He drank the stuff once on a dare from Lucy and regretted it since then; he thought he would live the rest of his "immortal" life without having to taste something so repulsive ever again.

'Guess I was wrong.' He thought with a grimace, trying not to choke once the needle was away from his mouth.

"There there, it's for your own good." Shay said, trying to soothe his brother with a comforting arm around his shoulders. James tried to smile in thanks, but in the end all he could do was grimace.

"I know but ugh, it was nasty." He replied, Xavier reaching out and ruffling his wild hair. James met his father's eyes, concentrating real hard on what the tall man was trying to convey to him through his facial expression.

"So, I only have to take this stuff once every two weeks?" He asked. Xavier nodded, smile returning when he saw pure relief flood the brunet's eyes like a river.

"Oh thank God. I love Mom and all, really I do, but damn if I had to take that crap every day...!" Shay let out a chuckle while Xavier's smile turned into a slightly demented grin.

"Well at least your meds are now taken care of, you won't have to worry about glitching out while in school." The blond pointed out, James giving off a light shrug.

"I guess so, but mind if I go upstairs real quick? I need some time alone, you know to get back into character before breakfast. I don't want the guys hounding me if they notice I'm off." James said, shooting a pleading look at Xavier.

The tall man sighed but nodded to give his consent, pressing a light kiss to his son's forehead.

Xavier may seem like an anti-social, always depressed loner but he was very far from that. Unlike James most of the times (unless when Shay was involved), he was very affectionate towards his wife and children.

This may not have been the life he would have chosen for himself willingly, but he wouldn't trade Kelly and the kids for his humanity back. Not even if he had the option to right here right now; he'd reject it without a second thought.

In fact, Xavier secretly preferred this life over the one he use to lead as a human.

He didn't tell Kelly or the kids this, especially James since the brunet blamed himself for what happened to Xavier, but it was the truth: he liked being Xavier, the proxy father of six and husband to the lovely , than who he use to be.

Alone, always looking for something yet finding nothing to fill the empty hole he use to have in his chest...

James smiled at Xavier and got up, giving him a quick hug. "Thanks Dad, promise I won't take too long. Save me a seat at the table, Shay."

With a quick kiss to Shay's cheek, James gave them both another small smile before heading out into the hallway for the stairs. He took a deep breath before making his way back up to his bedroom, not sensing in the slightest that someone following him.

**_-Page Break-_**

_"Shay, Shay stop!" James managed to finally catch up with his older brother and grab him by the arm, pulling as hard as he could._

_Shay had managed quite a distance from the family cabin. James couldn't tell how far they were from Mama now; it was dark, so dark that not even the half moon could shine through the thick, green growth over their heads. Tonight had a dark, eerie aura to it, as if someone was watching them from the creeping shadows._

_Tonight was creepier than any of the other nights the children have gone out on to explore. James' flashlight was dead, and Shay didn't have his on him; they were caught in the dark, trapped in curving, slithering blackness._

_Tonight, something spelled out danger. Something, or someone, was in the shadows watching; James could feel eyes burning into his back, alert to catch his every move._

_But Shay still wasn't answering him!_

_James grabbed the dirty blond by the shoulders and spun him around, only to grab the front of his loose green tank top so that their eyes could meet. "S-Shay, Shay! Shay, what's wrong?! You're scaring me, say something!" The brunet begged, tears now shining in his soft hazel-green eyes._

_Shay didn't blink though, made no other gesture to signal to his brother that he heard him. It was like he was a in trance of some kind, dazed and disconnected from his reality._

_He looked like those zombies Lucy saw once in a scary movie..._

_"Shay!"_

_"T-the music..." Shay whispered, lips parted slightly._

_"Music, Shay are you talking about?"_

_"The music playing...and that voice, singing." James was troubled, deeply troubled and puzzled and just straight out torn between the two; what was going on with his brother?_

_"A voice, singing?" James repeated, trying to make sense of all this information._

_"Shay, James!" Camille's voice echoed through the trees, though bounced off all of them that it was hard to tell in direction it originally came from._

_"Jamie, Shay! Guys, can you hear us?!" Stephanie called, sounding really worried now._

_"Guys isn't it funny, come on out now! Mama's gonna kill us for this, come on say something! Anything, just come on out now!" It was Lucy's voice this time. Even though she sounded annoyed beyond belief, anyone would be able to tell she was scared of what could have happened to her older brothers in these dark, now creepy woods._

_"James, Shay! Guys can you hear me?! Guys!" Dak chided, holding up his arm as high as he could to better shine his flashlight through the gloom. Lucy, Stephanie and Camille soon got the idea and copied his movements, holding their flashlights up high too._

_James was able to make out a light glow through the gloom, no doubt from his siblings, but before he could shout to them to let them know where he and Shay were...he began to hearing singing._

_It was hard to tell if it was a man or woman singing, but the voice was so haunting. It was so haunting, yet so beautiful at the same time. Soft music began to fill James' ears as well, soft music fit for a funeral. It was soft, deep yet seductive._

_'W-what's that? T-that music, where...?' But James couldn't finish his his train of thought. He couldn't finish his train of thought, or say said thought out loud because...because it wasn't too long before James fell victim to the singing, fell victim to the music like Shay._

_His mind went blank, his once frantic facial expression smoothing out to tell nothing. He dropped his flashlight, it falling hard on a rock and breaking. Shay and James linked hands, and with twin blank looks on their faces began to walk deeper and deeper into the woods, following the voice._

_The voice calling to them, telling them to come to it._

**_-Page Break-_**

James sighed as he leaned in the doorway of his bedroom, torn between going in and staying out.

For some reason, he hasn't been feeling safe in his own room these last few nights.

Probably because memories of the fire have been haunting him more than usual.

'Who was singing, was it real or just something I made up? Dak, Cam, Lu and Steph, they said they heard singing too but...but we never saw anyone. We just saw that cabin, we heard the voice coming from it but found no one there...and then the fire started.' James was struggling, struggling to recall that terrible night eleven years ago.

He was just a child back then, but those memories were burned deep under his skin; his body was practically carrying the memories, every scar and bruise and inch of sickly violet skin holding a small piece of the tragedy that took his and his siblings' lives.

They were all in a cabin, one so old and badly cared for that looked like it hasn't been occupied in years. The singing came from inside the cabin, he and Shay and the others in their hypnotized states daring to go inside. The door slamming shut behind them, the singing growing louder and louder. The children growing drowsy, sleepy yet when the music died out and James still had some control over the sudden drowsiness attempting to take over him...he caught sight of the fire bursting to life, a chemical fire.

He remembered hearing screams, screams coming from him as he fought to break the door down with all the strength his five year old body possessed only for it prove pointless. The screams from him, from his brothers and sisters as the chemicals contaminated their bodies, the fire consuming them whole.

From there...everything went foggy, unclear.

From there, he couldn't make out much of the aftermath. He remembered reaching out for Kelly, disfigured and miraculously still alive, still conscious. He could remember begging her to save his brothers and sisters, to see if they were still alive like him.

From there, all he could remember was waking up in Kelly's lab. Waking up in her lab at the age of seven.

The only reason he knew all this was because she told him and his siblings though, not because he had great memory or anything. He didn't even remember his biological mother's name until Kelly showed him a picture of her and explained everything of the fire to them.

So he shouldn't claim he remembered the accident, he shouldn't. Everything was known only thanks to Kelly, to Mom.

If she had not told them the truth, he would have believed that she had been their mother, and Xavier their father, their whole lives.

'But what was it? What was it that...k-killed us?' James thought with a tinge of frustration, balling up his hands against his lower stomach.

Well at least his medicine was working, since he wasn't glitching thanks to his often uncontrollable temper.

"Fuck my life."

"Weird, you usually say that when you're playing a Slenderman game with Carlos." James turned to see Kendall standing at the top of the stairs, leaning against the rail with a soft smile on his pale lips.

James felt a stab of guilt from what he did with Shay in front of Kendall earlier, his smile apologetic. "Well, I have a lot of things on my mind lately and it's pissing me off. Much like how Slender pisses me off when he jump scares me while I'm going for his stupid pages. Honestly, I don't see the reason why anyone would want to have poorly done drawings of a man with no face." He responded, relaxing his stance.

"It's a game, I don't think it's suppose to make sense."

"Well I still think he exists. I just haven't met him yet, Kendy."

"And you want to meet him, again why?!" James smirked at this, hazel-green eyes shining devilishly.

"Because I'm a sadistic bastard."

"Oh you sure are, Jay." Kendall said, letting out a small laugh.

The brunet didn't miss the double meaning behind the blond's seemingly innocent statement.

James sighed and walked over until he stood right before Kendall, one hand on the other's chest. He could hear Kendall's heart beating under his palm, strong and fast and loud. It was a soothing sound to the brunet, the sound of Kendall's heart beating. His own heart did the same, beat fast and strong and loud, but unlike Kendall's wasn't completely made of flesh.

It was made of flesh and proxy tech, and thanks to the proxy tech unlike Kendall's heart...James' will never stop going.

Even when it was time to meet his fate, his heart will still be beating.

"I'm sorry, for what I did earlier..."

"Don't say you're sorry, Jay; you say sorry and then you do it again anyway, there's not point in apologizing." Kendall pointed out, bottle green eyes staring into James'. His tone wasn't rude or scolding at all, but more sad and broken.

And it cut James deep to hear him that way.

"I'm only doing what's best for you, for us."

"How this is best for us, James? We care about each other; I know you love me, just as much as I love you!" Kendall began, yet James cut him off with a cold glare.

"It doesn't matter how I feel about you, what matters is your safety."

"Cut the Edward Cullen bull, James! For the love of God, we're not in some crappy vampire love story! You're James, my best friend and I'm Kendall, your best friend. We're best friends before anything else, but are you seriously thinking you're going to get me to believe that this is about my 'safety'?! I know you, James, I know how your mind works and I know that what really you're worried about has something to do with how you look without your suit!"

'Fuck my life, how the hell..?!' James thought, eyes now wide and skin turning pale.

"Y-you're blowing this out of proportion, Kendall."

"The fact that you stuttered just now proves I'm right, James. James...listen, I get that you're scared about losing control of your proxy side. You make it very obvious you that hate who you are, but what is so wrong with it? What is so wrong with you, James? Nothing, that's what! You're my best friend in the whole world; you've told me secrets you don't feel like you can share with someone else, and I've done the same. I've trusted you with so much, and that will never change but...but why won't you let me see your face? And I mean your real face, James, not the one you wear every day.

James lowered his gaze to the floor, Kendall's facial expression softening as he placed both of his hands on James' strong shoulders.

"Everyone has a dark side, Jamie. Everyone has things they don't like about themselves, or 'dirty little secrets'. I know I can't say I understand what it's like to be a proxy, and I won't try to to lie to you that I do. I don't understand what it's like, I don't and I probably won't ever fully understand the pain and agony you must be feeling. I understand that...that what's inside you is something you hate and can't control, but that doesn't mean that I'm just going to stop caring about you simply because on how you really look. I don't care too much about looks, James, you know that; I like a person for who they are. If they're attractive on the outside, then fine good for them but...but I love you for who you are on the INSIDE. You're sweet, and funny, and a great friend and an awesome brother. You can be a little hard to read sometimes, that's for sure and I know that you wish you can be someone else but I don't. I love you, just the way you are. Why won't you let me see, why won't you let me see your face?"

"Because...because I don't want you to." James said, trying to have an icy lace to his voice.

It turned out to sound more broken than icy, though.

Kendall bit his lower lip, trying to keep his composure in check. "And why not?" He whispered.

"Because a person like you...you only come once in a lifetime, Kendall. Someone like you, who has been to take in all the crazy aspects of my fucked life so easily, that isn't easy to find in someone these days. It's hard to find someone who can really accept you, Kendall; you've accepted my dad, my brothers and sisters, me for what we really are...but you don't know what I've done. You don't know what I've done, the people I've hurt because of what I am."

"You wouldn't hurt me, I know it and people make mistakes. Mistakes don't define who you are, James; you made them yeah but they're in the past now, and I know that you didn't mean to hurt anyone if you did. You're not a bad person."

"I'm not the same person I was when I died, Kendall. There's this _thing_, this beast inside me...it thinks for itself, it lives for itself. I can't control it, no matter what I do it always knows how to fight back. If you were smart, you'd run away. You'd run away, stay away from me because you don't know what I'm capable of."

"Then call me stupid then, because I'm not running away."

"I'm only doing what's best for you, Kendall. I've never felt this way for someone else before, but the right thing to do is to give you up. I have to give you up now, before I regret anything. If you won't protect yourself, if you won't save yourself then I will do it for you." James hissed, chest tight.

"Mama W is human, Jay. She's human and she's with Papa M, and he's a proxy. Not only a proxy, but a COMPLETE proxy. They're not the same, just like us so how is it that they're willing to give their love a chance while you won't do the same of us?"

"Because you don't know who made Dad that way, or do you?" At this Kendall was stumped silent for a few minutes, before realization flooded him.

"Y-you..."

"Yes, I did it. I killed Dad and left him as a corpse. Mom turned him into a proxy to save him, even though he was already gone he could still be saved. He was turned and became a complete proxy, all because of me. I killed him and I scarred Mom, now how can you say that I'm not dangerous? Huh, how can you say now that I'm not a bad person?!"

"You didn't mean to, I know you didn't!"

"It doesn't fucking matter if I did or I didn't at the time, Kendall! The point is that I hurt someone, I hurt someone I love and there's no way to fix it. Xavier isn't human because of me; I stole from him what I wish I still had: my humanity, to be like you. If I was like you then I could be with you, but I'm not. I'm not now and I never will be like you, Kendall."

"So what are you saying, James?" At this the brunet smiled bitterly, pulling away from Kendall with a cold look in his hazel-green eyes.

"Simple, the right thing for me to do is to give you up. I've already done that, so all I have to do now is get you to want to give me up too."

"You know I won't do that." Kendall said through gritted teeth, anger numbing the pain he was feeling in his chest.

"If you won't do it yourself, then I'll make you. I'll make you hate me, I'll make you wish you never met me. I'll stop you from making the biggest mistake of your life. I'll save you from me, I'll prove to you once and for all that I'll only break your heart."


	5. This Problem Lies in Me

Yolo! Thought I'd update 'Proxy' one last time this week! I don't have internet access at home, so might as well use my uni's Wi-Fi as much as I can! So, won't say much so we can get this chapter going, but hope everyone enjoys this latest update! Thank you to everyone for all the positive feedback, kind words and overall support for this story! I'm glad to know that when 'Love the Way You Lie' is complete, my dear readers will be eager to embark on another BTR adventure with me! So thank you again and be ready for anything in this story! :) **Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush or Shay Hanson! All I own is the story's overall plot and the OCs mentioned and/or used!**

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There was never a "silent" moment in the Maxwell-Wainwright residence.

Even at night, when the moon came up and the darkness would announce quiet and shadows, there was always something happening in the house of proxies.

Breakfast was one of those non-silent moments, because Kelly would play music as loud as it can go (without disturbing too much their neighbors, of course) while cooking, dancing on her toes like a ballerina around the kitchen. She was always in a cheerful mood, that was the kind of person she was, but her perky disposition seem to grow ten-fold when October came around.

Maybe it was because she really enjoyed Halloween. The whole idea of dressing up in costumes and scaring people, that always tickled her fancy; even as a little girl, going out for one night as a princess or mad scientist gave her a warm, fluttery feeling in her stomach. Of course she could always dress up when it wasn't Halloween, but the last thing she wanted was to give her neighbors any other reasons to think she and her family were mentally abnormal.

Or maybe it was the fact that October was the only month that had the most birthdays for her to celebrate. In only two days, one of her babies would be turning seventeen!

Wow, time did fly by...!

"Time for breakfast! Everyone get their lazy butts in a chair, don't make me wait for too long!" Kelly exclaimed in a lovely sing-song voice, humming to herself as she stepped back to take in the dinning table with a look of praise.

Everything was evenly spread: the stack of pancakes, with blueberry, strawberry and maple syrup bottles at the ready. All the plates had long napkins tucked under them, the silverware scrubbed to shine under the candlelight of the large, elegant chandelier above the long, rectangular table. Another plate holding a mountain of turkey bacon was in the center of the piece, the chairs pulled back slightly so that everyone could settle down without too much hassle. Kelly had dug out the white, silk tablecloth her mother got her for her and Xavier's wedding anniversary two years back, it extremely soft to the touch with a nice rose embroidery.

She had pumpkin-scented candles to give more of that Hallow's Eve feel to the house, with 'This is Halloween', Marilyn Manson's version, playing in the background.

Kelly undid the apron she had put on over her long, beautiful black dress and took in a deep breath, letting out a satisfied sigh when she felt Xavier's arms wrap around her slender waist.

Said tall man let a smirk touch his lips as he pressed a light kiss to his wife's cheek, admiring the fiery blush that flamed her soft, dark chocolate skin.

"Thank you honey, I wanted to get everything just right! Dak is turning seventeen in TWO days, can you believe it? I mean where has the time gone, soon enough our babies will be going off to college and getting married, with us as soon-to-be grandparents...!" Kelly said, wiping at her soft coffee brown eyes.

Xavier's smirk softened into an understanding smile, catching said stray tears with the tips of his fingers.

"I know, I know that is still a little far away but wow! I miss my babies already!" Xavier chuckled at this. His wife was often very dramatic, even though she wasn't that great of an actress herself. He didn't mind though, on the contrary he loved the fact that she was so expressive. Unlike him, she could shout to the heavens her fears, dreams and worries for the future. He was doomed to remain mute for the rest of his "immortal" life, only to be seen but never heard; that was what made their relationship work, though. He was the doer, she the speaker.

And when Kelly Maxwell-Wainwright had something to say, everyone listened.

Speaking of everyone...

"Oh yeah, I made it first!" Dak Maxwell-Wainwright slid into the room with an eye-to-eye smile on his handsome face, light golden-green eyes sparkling with mischief. Logan and Carlos were not too far behind, looking a bit embarrassed that they were so easily defeated when Dak had had to come down all the way from the attic to the dining room.

Then again Dak did have that teleportation ability, so it really was an unfair advantage when Carlos and Logan only got to cross thresholds for like five minutes.

"Well you cheated, you used your powers!" Carlos pointed out, sticking out his tongue. Dak allowed a laugh to break free from his chest, running a hand through his wild, dark brown, almost black, hair.

"All's fair in love and food, dude."

"And you're not quoting Shakespeare accurately, either!" Logan added, the English nerd in him coming out.

That only got him and his boyfriend another playful grin.

"Well it's about time someone started showing up, I was beginning to think you, out of nowhere, started hating my cooking or something! Happy early birthday, sweetie!" Kelly said, throwing her arms around Dak in a tight, warm hug and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

Dak blushed, glaring at Carlos and Logan when said raven-haired boys began snickering. "M-Mom, not in front of my bros! You're embarrassing me, again!"

"Oh don't be silly, Dak. Sylvia and Joanna do the same to them every day, they're their little munchkins too! And you are one of my little munchkins yes you are, you're my little vampire prince!" Kelly cooed, Xavier smiling deviously when Carlos and Logan's giggle fest died out in two minutes flat. Dak's face went bright once more though at the vampire comment.

His mom just couldn't let go of the fact that every Halloween he always wanted to go trick-or-treating as a vampire. And not like those lame Twilight vampires either, but the really scary, Dracula-type vampires.

'Note to self, go costume shopping with Dad this time.' Dak thought with a mental sigh, he and Carlos and Logan taking their seats at the table.

"Everything smells great, Mama W. Thanks for having us come over." Logan said with a smile. Even though he, Carlos and Kendall have been coming over for breakfast (and lunch, and sometimes dinner) at James' house for years now, he had this habit of always thanking Kelly and Xavier for letting them hang with James, Camille, Lucy, Dak, Stephanie and Shay.

After all, they were guarding the Maxwell-Wainwright family secret with practically their lives. Their moms knew about it, so did Papa Garcia and their friends from school like Jo, Mercedes, Wally and Alec, but from there no one else knew about the family of proxies living in L.A.

'Sometimes I feel like I'm in a sci-fi movie, with all the proxy stuff.' Logan added in his head, chuckling to himself.

Well in a way that was the case. They were living a situation that most people would deem unreal, strange and complicated to understand. As much as Logan loved logical explanations and reasoning, he wouldn't trade his friends and their secret for that small bit of reassurance.

In fact, he was actually thinking of asking Kelly if she would take him on as an intern of sorts later on, possibly during the summer; he would very much like to help her in furthering her experiments and research on Proxy-logy. Plus he wouldn't have anything to do over the summer before senior year, apart from hockey practice outside school, working at the public library, helping his mom around the house, getting some college applications in, and hanging with his friends and boyfriend.

Kelly waved the smart boy's thanks though with a wink, Xavier already working on serving the boys their breakfast. "No thanks are necessary, Logan, you know that. You're part of this family, I see you as another son."

"What about me and Ken, Mama W?" Carlos asked, pulling out his famous kicked puppy look. Kelly blushed under the intensity of the teen's look, giggling behind her hand though and ruffling his messy, thick hair.

"You and Kendall too, Carlos. Now dig in, wait boys where are the girls? And James and Shay and Kendall, where did they go?"

"Right here, Mom." James said as he appeared in the doorway with his famous Diamond grin in place, holding hands with Shay while Kendall brought up the rear. Kendall smiled as Kelly kissed his forehead (a habit she had with everyone) and ushered him into his seat, piling two pancakes, some bacon and whole-wheat toast onto his plate while Xavier tended to James and Shay.

"Okay, now only Lu-Lu, Cam and Steph are missing." Kelly said, tapping her chin as she wondered where her little princesses were off at. Xavier straightened up and waved his right hand in a shooing gesture though, silently saying to Kelly, "Hold that thought, love".

Everyone watched with expressions of either awe (mostly Carlos, Kendall and Logan) or amusement (Dak, James and Shay) as Xavier closed his eyes and tilted his head to the side. He stood like that by Shay's seat for five whole minutes, until he finally opened his eyes again; his normally too blue-green eyes were now large and deep and black as marbles, one hand going up to his right temple. His bony fingers turned blue, sparks flying from them, before his vision went blue as well.

"What is he doing?" Carlos asked Dak, who was trying to keep from laughing.

The Latino was use to seeing Xavier do some strange, cool things but this was something new.

Dak shared a look with his brothers, they with their lips pressed tightly together to keep from laughing too.

"Just watch, Carlitos." He whispered back, fighting off the snickers by shoving a piece of pancake into his mouth drowned in blueberry syrup.

Said raven-haired boy was confused still, shooting said look towards his boyfriend and best friend, before the answer to their shared question finally came.

Just in a way they didn't expect.

"AHH!"

Suddenly Stephanie Maxwell-Wainwright came down through the ceiling, nearly crashing into the chandelier before she fell, shaky but unharmed, into her father's open arms, light hazel-brown eyes in a daze while she only had one arm stuck in a sleeve of the leather jacket she had pulled on over her dark purple sweater.

She was still for a minutes, still caught up in shock, before she shot her father's grinning face a glare and kicked herself free, brushing off her dark washed jeans free of imaginary lint before crossing her arms. "DAD! I HATE when you do that!" She said, annoyed also that her hair, once in a high ponytail, was now free and tumbling down the small of her back like a waterfall.

Not to mention that her hair was now standing on end, as if she had just been electrocuted.

All the boys burst out laughing, Shay's face bright red though while Kelly hid a smirk behind her handkerchief.

"Priceless." James managed through his chuckles, Dak wiping at his eyes from laughing so hard and nodding.

"That's a nice look for ya, Steph. You're looking pretty sparky now!"

Stephanie puffed out her cheek and tried to tame the wild mess as best as she could with her thin, delicate fingers, flipping her brothers off with a stink-eye. Her mother Kelly shook her head at the non-verbal use of foul language though, so she took back the gesture and doubled the venom behind her stink-eye.

"You guys are so immature."

"We know, and it pisses you off. That's where the fun is." James said, Kendall rolling his eyes at this.

He wasn't annoyed at the brunet; he acting like a sadistic bastard was the norm. The fact that stung though was that James was purely messing around with Stephanie, all for fun.

So unlike the attitude he had earlier with Kendall...

Stephanie merely scoffed and took her seat beside Kendall. Normally she sat beside Shay, but now her regular spot the dirty blond reserved for James and only James.

'That annoys me to Hell, they act like a couple though it's all for show just to turn Ken off from my brother.' She thought a bit bitterly, running a hand through her hair once more.

Don't get her wrong, Stephanie loved James to death. He was her older brother and even though he was a sadistic bastard, and shameless flirt, at times he always got back at the snobs and meat-heads at school that tried to mess with her. Even though Dak was the oldest of the six, James clearly carried the "Big overprotective brother" title more so than him; Dak was just more passive than James, less uptight for lack of a better word.

She just disliked the fact he and Shay pretended to be in love, when she made it more than obvious that she had feelings for the sweet, naive blond.

"I think you look good, Steph, even with your hair that way..." Shay said, face still flushed a ruby red as he shot his cute, innocent smile the brunette's way. Stephanie smiled back at him and gave the thumbs-up, heart skipping a beat when Shay looked away in embarrassment.

He may be in "a relationship" with James, but it was clear who he was really interested in in that way.

"Wait, Xavier honey where are Lu-Lu and Cam?" Kelly asked. Usually when Xavier activated his homing chip, all the children would be immediately pulled towards him no matter what laws of gravity his powers broke.

Said man seemed puzzled as well, trying to piece together this little mystery before he sighed and lifted his right foot.

A hand was gripping the cuff of his left pants leg, appearing disembodied since it was coming right through the floor. Xavier sighed again and forced one of his tentacles to come out, making the hand release his foot only to be wrapped around the wrist by said tentacle; with a light grunt, Xavier pulled with all his might, soon enough Camille appearing like a ghost in full-body view. Lucy didn't take too long to appear alongside her girlfriend, having used her father's lax arms to pull herself up to the dining room.

It was like the three were not just proxies, but ghosts. Then again, each of the six had the ability to walk through solid objects.

"Hey guys, sorry we're late! We just got the scarecrow all nice and rigged up in the attic, that way on Halloween we can have some fun with the little kids going trick-or-treating!" Camille exclaimed, giving her father and mother a big hug before dragging Lucy to their seats.

Like her mom, Camille was also wearing a nice black dress, though it was off the shoulders and she had gray skinny jeans under it. Her long wavy, dark brown hair was up in a messy ponytail, a light jacket on with knee-length high boots. Lucy was wearing a leather jacket like Stephanie, though hers was black, over a red tank top. She had on dark blue skinny jeans and with her long, red-streaked black hair braided into a small bun, her favorite boots on and her usual leather wristbands.

Lucy's soft, thin lips pulled back over her straight teeth in a devilish smile, one that scarily resembled Xavier's to the T. "I can't wait to scare these little snobby brats, that will teach them to toilet paper our house or try to scare Hades."

Hades was Lucy and Camille's pet spider. Well he was more Lucy's than Camille's pet since the actress-to-be wasn't too fond of spiders. She found them to be annoying and gross. Lucy found Hades in the attic last month, after she went digging around to find her electric guitar. She fed him, played with him and even made him a small house of sorts out of an old box and melon skin (Hades apparently was a vegetarian, even though he was found in attic where most of the flies got into the house via attic window),yet she wasn't allowed to have him inside the house since one time Xavier almost took him apart thinking he was one of the robots he made for the front-yard decor.

Hades wasn't technically seen as the family pet, since Lucy was the only one who really paid him any attention, though her brothers and sisters did partake in the little "welcome home" party she threw for him.

Interesting, Lucy hated snakes but could stand an eight-legged, commonly poisonous, beady-eyed arachnid walking up her arm...

Kelly sighed as she shook her head, brushing a stray lock of hair from Lucy's porcelain-doll face. "Lu-Lu, remember what I said about scaring little kids?"

Lucy made a face, though sighed herself as she mumbled, "I can only scare them enough to make them cry, not to have heart attacks."

"That's my girl, now eat up everyone! We don't want you all to be late for school, and James you are riding with your brothers and sisters this time! You are not taking your motorcycle; I swear to God that will be the death of me, I don't like it when you decide to stake your life on that metal deathtrap, young man!"

Everyone at the table busted out laughing again, James the only one with a grimace on his lips and a fiery streak of red dusting his cheeks.

"Mom, it's safe as a car. Shay rides with me all the time and we're still alive." He pointed out with a wink Shay's way, said blond turning pink around the ears.

Both Kelly and Xavier gave their youngest son a look, without verbally saying, "You are NOT getting on that thing, end of story!" loud and clear for all to hear.

James just rolled his eyes once more and began stabbing at his pancakes with his fork, not partaking in the singing now taking over the table courtesy of Camille and Dak.

"Why put Shay on that thing?" Kendall whispered behind Stephanie's back to James, said brunet giving him a cold smirk.

"Why, jealous? Don't find me attractive anymore?" He asked. Kendall glared hotly at him at this.

"No, because you know Shay gets carsick easily. Why would you put him on your motorcycle when you know he can suddenly throw up during the ride?"

"Simple, he doesn't. He usually rides with me with his eyes closed, and me singing to him. It calms him down, Kendy. There's nothing I wouldn't do for Shay, you should know that."

"Of course I do, still thought it was weird."

"You know, you should really mind your own business, Kendall. What me and Shay do in private doesn't concern you." James growled, Kendall narrowing his eyes.

"Do in 'private', you're bluffing through your teeth."

"You act as if I take your words to heart, now leave me alone. Mom doesn't like it when we talk with our mouths full." With that the brunet turned back to his plate, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he reached of his glass of orange juice.

'Fuck my life.' He thought coldly, trying to ignore the mixture of pleasure and guilt building in his chest.

Today was going to be a long day...


	6. Oh, Do You Know what You got Into?

Hey everyone! It's me Raven, I'm back! I'm back at my dorm room, meaning I now have wi-fi again so here's a new update to 'Proxy'! Now, before we continue though I wish to say something: I have a lot of papers to write my classes, so I will update this story first today and 'Love the Way You Lie' will probably be updated either this weekend or one of the weekdays of next week. Sorry for such an inconvenience, but I'm only in college for at least one more month. I have to pull through with all I got, plus I need to ask a few things about financial aid either this upcoming Thursday or Friday. I get to register for my next semester classes this Thursday, oh sweet joy! Well, with that out of the way let us begin! Thank you to everyone who reviewed and that has supported this story so far! I hope I'm making this story as enjoyable as possible; remember, any questions at all I'll be happy to answer! Don't be shy, I'm always here! **Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush or Shay Hanson! All I own is the story's overall plot and the OCs mentioned and/or used!**

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School was always difficult for James to tow through.

It wasn't because he wasn't smart. The pretty boy may seem oblivious to everything that didn't revolve around him, but the truth was that he was a really good student. He wasn't the smartest kid in his grade, that title Logan has carried since like Pre-K, but he wasn't stupid either. In fact, he was pretty smart in the science department; having an inventor for a dad and doctor for a mom can do that to you.

So it wasn't the academics area that filled the brunet with distress.

It was the fact that he couldn't get away from a certain stubborn, green-eyed dirty blond at all throughout the school day.

And he wasn't talking about his adorable older brother Shay, not this time...

James tried to ignore Kendall as they sat side-by-side in AP Psychology. James had this class also with Logan and Shay, Jo and Wally but they were already partnered up with the aforementioned others. James' only friend outside the group had AP Government during this time slot; she wasn't even in this school per say and everyone else had their pair ready so his only choice for a partner for today's lesson was Kendall.

He really wished his other siblings were in this class, it made it easier to evade Kendall since he and Dak were good friends.

Their teacher Mr. Bruckner was an okay kind of guy. He rarely gave homework, was one of the youngest teachers on staff and had a very cheerful deposition. In a way, he was like the male version of the children's mom Kelly, just with way shorter hair and glasses.

He did do group work a lot though, since he was a firm believer that students learned better working together instead of just listening to him drone on and take notes.

Right now, everyone in the class were set in pairs to research a subtopic in psychology, write a brief report (with both partners putting in the necessary effort to complete the task) about their findings, and finally present to the class the next time they meet, which was on Wednesday. Mr. Bruckner had assigned every pair a subtopic, that way no two groups cover the same research, and picked the pairs.

Well James rarely liked to work with anyone on class or homework, and since Kendall was the only one left without a partner...

'Fuck my life.' James thought bitterly, avoiding meeting the blond's eye as they both typed away at their computers. The class took place in a computer lab, since most of the learning the students did was via power points Mr. Bruckner posted up on his school page for his students to get all the notes and any homework they may have missed.

James and Kendall were to research psychological disorders.

"How you found anything?" James asked if not politely. He could not show his disdain of being in such close proximity to the object of his affections, at least not too much. He was busying scribbling down key points (not forgetting to add quotations; he wasn't one for plagiarism) on his findings on BPD, short for Borderline Personality Disorder. James already had a general idea of the subject, since Kelly always worried about the chemicals' sideffects on not only the children's physical attributes but their psychological attributes as well. The chemicals that had resulted in the children's transformation into proxies were still a haunting mystery, since most of the substances had seeped into the children' skin, so it would be impossible to find out what they were unless the children themselves were dead.

It would be the only way Kelly and Xavier would be able to collect enough tissue to do a study.

'But since Mom and Dad love us, that isn't going to happen anytime soon...' James thought with an eye-roll, straightening up his posture and pausing in his writing to check over the facts.

Kendall flipped to a new page in his notebook, having filled the last one already. "Yeah, found a vast of info on Antisocial Personality Disorder. It seems very complicated, but from what I'm understanding so far...most of the symptoms start when someone is a kid. It includes cruelty to animals, setting things on fire and unable to handle authority." The blond did his best to summarize all the key points he wrote down, connecting them on all on the page in a web.

James held back the urge to smile. As a procrastinator as Kendall could be, he was still a very reliable person.

'If only he'd share his charming qualities with someone else. Someone who can be with him...' James thought, Kendall's voice soon breaking him free of his train of thought.

"Huh, what did you say?" He asked, getting a light smile from the blond.

"I said, for only forty-five minutes we've done a pretty decent job on getting most of these disorders covered." Kendall repeated, James shrugging his shoulders.

"We work good together, it's not too much of a surprise."

"Yeah, we do. We'd work really great together in another sense, like being more than just partners in class."

Oh nice try, Kendall...

"Yeah, I'm sure we would work well on projects outside class as well, Kendy."

"That's not what I meant."

"You know full well I'm taken, right?" James asked, trying to keep his pleasant smile in place. Kendall challenged it however with a smirk.

'Fuck my life, I hate when he smirks like that...!'

"A friends with benefits relationship doesn't mean you're really taken, especially when it's all show."

"You don't know that, for what it's worth I could have lost my virginity to Shay already, or at least planning to in the near future."

"You're as innocent as a clam, Jay. You act like a player, but you're really a teddy bear inside." Kendall pointed out, not about to be beaten at this little game of wits.

'Really, does he really go with that remark?' James felt anger flare within him, yet he managed to keep his temper in check with a light chuckle behind his hand.

Sometimes Kendall's innocence really pissed him off...

"Really, you really think that?" It was time the brunet challenged the shorter boy right back. He put his pencil down and scooted his seat closer to Kendall's, up the point in which their hips brushed. With a right arm he had Kendall pressed against his chest, James closing his eyes and leaning into the shorter boy's right ear to puff teasing breaths of warm air against his sensitive skin. He made sure to leave only an inch between his lips and Kendall's ear, so that when he spoke they would nip at the other's lobe lightly. The brunet's other hand went to the front of Kendall's dark purple plaid button-up, undoing the top three so that the gray tank that was underneath was visible.

James mentally smirked when he felt the other's pulse start to quicken, Mr. Bruckner unable to stop the brunet's advances with his back turned and with Kendall and James being the only group sitting in the far back of the classroom no one else could either.

"You really think I'm all soft and sweet like a teddy bear? Oh poor little Kendy, you have no idea what you're trying to get yourself into."

"J-James!" Kendall hissed urgently to him, face flushing a bright red as he tried to fight off James running a hand down his left leg.

The brunet was a bit stronger though, so he merely took Kendall's wrist in hand and brushed the skin there with the tip of his arrow-straight nose. "Hmm, aren't you tempting? You know...proxies are very feral creatures, we're good with going with our primal instincts. The animals inside us like to play, Kendy, but play very _roughly_; I suggest you quit while you can, because I can assure that once I get inside your head...there will be no way of getting rid of me."

'This has to work, my powers are under control so let me see what limits I have to push before he gives in...' James thought with a cold touch to his eyes. They were their usual warm hazel-green before...they began to become black and shiny as slabs of onyx.

His hands began to glow a bright blue, but sparks didn't fly from them. Once his slightly sparky fingers touched the warm, pale skin over Kendall's heart, he tapped the bone underneath with his right index fingernail.

"I can easily kill you here, Kendall. The only people who would be able to sense my powers would be Shay; I can stop time, slow it down until the earth isn't moving anymore. I can kill you today and dispose of your body in seconds, so I'm going to ask you again: you really think I'm all soft and sweet like a teddy bear?" James closed his mouth over Kendall's earlobe and bit lightly into the skin there, careful not to break the sensitive flesh though.

James' blood and saliva could be very toxic if coming into contact with other blood samples, internal organs or open wounds. Right now he was playing it safe, not piercing the dirty blond's flesh, but he knew better than to push so far in this little game he and Kendall had going on.

"I can kill you, turn you into the monster I am. I can do so much, and you'd run away scared like a baby."

Kendall swallowed hard and took a deep breath, before his breathtaking, devious smile pulled at his lips again and he angled his face more toward James' parted lips.

"Then go ahead, if you're so certain I'll run away 'like a baby', Jamie. You think I walked into this stupid, then you're so wrong." The shorter boy hissed back, bottle green eyes shining with mischief.

On the outside James looked as seductive and devilish as normal, yet on the inside he was freaking out.

'Fuck my life, why isn't he backing off?!'

"Ha, if I were to kiss you right now, you'd die from the poison." James said.

"Really, then why did Kelly gave all of us shots that makes us immune?" Kendall shot back, quirking an eyebrow.

Now James was really stumped. When did his mom do that?!

"W-when did she do that?"

"Right after we found out the family secret. She didn't want anyone to be at risk, so with our parents' consent she gave us vaccines. Unlike regular ones, we don't have to keep getting them after a certain period of time because the effect is permanent. So, about the the challenge you just made...!"

"Wha-" James barely had a chance to rebuttal before his lips were claimed by Kendall's, his face going red this time around as pulses and pulse of strong, powerful electrical currents began riding his spine.

James wanted to shove Kendall away, keep their tongues from meeting and hearts from racing but deep down he couldn't pull away. He's always wanted this, to kiss the shorter boy and actually not be afraid of killing him. His mom's vaccines were very effective, with only one percent chance of backfiring. He couldn't believe he didn't know this tidbit of information already; his brother Dak was a half proxy and was with Jett Stetson, a friend and fellow human. They have been dating longer than Cam and Lu; the girls had a record of three years, Jett and Dak of six. Jo and Wally were around a year and half and Logan and Carlos almost two years but they were humans, they had nothing to worry about like for example poisoning their significant other.

That was something only proxies had to deal with...

Before James' brain could catch up to his body, Kendall had broken the kiss at the sound of bell; it was time for them to go to their art class, which they also happened to have together. They had every class together.

"Whoops, looks like it's time for art. I'll save you a seat, Jamie." Kendall whispered with a soft wink. He pressed another kiss, this one shorter though still as passionate, to the stunned brunet's lips before practically sprinting out the door, James' eyes wide and jaw slack.

'W-what the hell just happened?'

It looked like the predator just became the prey.


	7. I Will Love You, Unconditionally

Hey everyone! I have good news! One of my professors pushed their paper due date back to next Thursday! I'm glad, I mean I've written three papers, read a Shakespearean play, got together with fellow classmates for a project AND study for a Psychology test! And it's only Wednesday! I was running on fumes too since I can't sleep in this drafty dorm room (the weather outside has been a MESS) and have skipped two meals every day! I'm amazed I'm still alive! Well, at least I get to distress somewhat with some nice writing today! Time for an update to 'Proxy'! Ha, so far everyone seemed to like the not-so secret competition going between our two lovers! I had fun writing that, but now time for some more fun! You all will see, heehee! Thank you to Sara-chan, Chey21, and annabellex2 for reviewing! And for wishing me luck too, annabellex2, I will surly need it for next week for when I get MORE work to do! Well, at least next year I'll be a college sophomore, yay! Did you know sophomore means "wise fool"? I learned that like two days ago, knowledge is power! Anyway, done with that long author's note! Time for the new chapter, hope everyone enjoys! **Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush or Shay Hanson! All I own is the story's overall plot and the OCs mentioned and/or used! A new OC is introduced in this chapter, though I wonder if that spells good or bad news for the Kames lovers!**

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"I think I saw him head this way." Jo Taylor, a rather attractive blonde with dark hazel-brown eyes, said as she led her best guy friend Kendall outside.

It was around lunchtime. Most of the students, their little group of friends included, were inside but they chose to eat in the library instead of the sweaty, crowded cafeteria downstairs. As long as they kept their table clean and helped out Miss Bass the souring-looking, yet deep down very sweet, librarian then they were allowed to hang around up there.

It also helped somewhat that Miss Bass was Wally Dooley's, Jo's steady boyfriend, adoptive mother/aunt but that was usually kept between the group and her. The last thing Wally needed was for a reason for his old bullies to start picking on him again.

Then again, most of the meat-heads here were pretty scared of Jo. She was sweet, funny and loyal to her friends, but when it came to looking out for her boyfriend she was a tigress.

"Thanks Jo, did you see him come out here alone?" Kendall asked as the cool breeze outside whipped back and forth his short mane of dirty blond hair.

It was a shame that the students weren't allowed to eat outside anymore, since some in the past have been caught skipping classes or having sex on the benches. Sure the L.A. weather rarely changed, but the clear blue sky, soft green grass and warm sun attracted him more than the heavy shades, eternal silence and thick air of the library.

Miss Bass was cool and all, but very strict even with them.

But back to the matter at hand here: James coming outside during lunch, knowing he could get in big time trouble if he's caught, heading towards the open, clear space between the trees not too far from the school's track field.

Jo shrugged her shoulders in response, a frown marring her lovely face. "I don't know, Wally just pointed out from the window seeing James head this way. He didn't say anything about seeing him with someone..."

"Okay, I'll take it from here. Thanks Jo, you can head back now." Kendall said, yet the blonde looked a little hesitant.

"You sure, Ken? I noticed a little bit of tension between you two during class and I don't like it. You guys are my best friends; why don't you two just get together already?" She asked, smiling a little when Kendall's face broke out in a light blush and he started laughing.

"That's what I'm trying to do, but Jamie is a stubborn jackass."

"Well that's no surprise. The guy maybe going all out on being a jackass to you...but I know he cares a lot about you. He's just using his 'relationship' with Shay to turn you off, but no worries got it? Sooner or later he'll break, plus I'm helping Stephanie out on getting Shay's attention. I'm sure once those two realize that what they're looking for is NOT with each other, everything will be smoothing sailing!"

'Gotta admit, I like the big optimism she's seeing this with.' Kendall thought with a another smile, nodding his head.

"Yeah, you're right. Well Shay knows he has feelings for Steph, so..."

"I know, but nothing's wrong with giving him a little push in the right direction, eh?" Jo pointed out, a mischievous gleam in her eyes. Kendall felt an ice cube slide into his stomach.

He loved Jo to death, don't get him wrong. She was an awesome friend and great at handling the guys when they got "L.A. fever" and such, but she could be dangerous sometimes.

Then again Wally could be feisty too, so no wonder they were great together; a match made in prankster heaven.

"K." Was all Kendall could manage, that making Jo laugh and give him a quick hug.

"Good luck!" She whispered in his ear before heading back the way they came, Kendall taking a deep breath before he started continuing forward, a look of pure determination in his bright bottle green eyes.

'Time to find where Jay goes during lunch.'

**_-Page Break-_**

"Jade, Jade you here?"

James worked himself through the green, thick undergrowth until he got to a small clearing. Some kids used this as a baseball field on weekends, since makeshift plates were on the ground and white chalk colored the light brown dirt a sandy-gold. Fallen logs served as benches and the air was cooler here; the trees provided great shade but also blocked out a majority of the sun over his head, so it looked like it was late evening instead of early afternoon.

James plopped down on one of the logs and sat with his legs spread, resting his chin on the palm of his right hand.

He waited patiently for three minutes, checking his watch. The usual period for lunch lasted for fifteen minutes; usually she was here by now...

"Jamie!"

"Jade!" The pretty boy barely had time to turn around before he was knocked to the ground by a smaller, lither body. James landed on his back, not minding the slight dust now clinging to his clothes (the suits maintained themselves free of dust, dirt and grim without needing any outside help) as he threw his head back in a laugh, arms going around the smaller, lither body in a big bear hug.

"Hey, I was about think that you weren't going to show up today." He said, breaking the hug so they could get to their feet.

A long waterfall of black hair tickled his cheek, followed by warm, soft lips brushing across his nose. "Don't be silly, I rarely get to see you as it is! I wouldn't miss our usual dates for the world!" James' laugh grew at this, yet his soft hazel-green eyes were filled with fondness.

"I know Jade, I know."

Jade Lati was a young woman, the same age as Shay but much shorter. She had long, wavy black hair that sometimes she wore down or in a braid, with warm caramel-colored skin and big, shiny peridots for eyes. She was very thin, thinner than Lucy or Camille, and liked to wear dresses or long skirts. Today she was wearing a beige-colored long skirt, a black long-sleeve that stopped at her wrists and above her naval, a light jacket over it and beige sandals on her feet. She wore golden hoop earrings with matching bracelets, a golden anklet with her birthstone (topaz) and a cross on a golden chain around her neck.

She smiled up at James and swayed on her heels, her skirt dancing with the breeze.

"You nice today, princess." James said, reaching out to stroke her right cheek. Jade blushed at the compliment, though her smile broadened.

"T-thanks, thanks to the warm weather I can finally wear my skirts! My moms were a little worried about me at first, you know walking around our neighborhood alone, but they calmed right down once I told them I was just meeting up with you! Do I really look okay, James?" She asked, her voice soft and light as wind chimes.

James chuckled and wrapped an arm around her, nodding into her hair. "Of course you do, princess. You're simply to die for! How's Lara and Gina doing?"

"They're great, they've been wondering if you'll come over for dinner again soon though! They act like they haven't seen you like in forever!" Jade exclaimed with that cute little laugh of hers, James taking great joy in knowing he was making her feel so carefree and chipper.

It was hard for Jade and her parents to live in their neighborhood, just like it was hard on him and his family to deal with theirs. While his neighbors looked down on him and his siblings for being children of an inter-racial couple, Jade was looked down on for being the daughter of a lesbian couple.

Sure California had people who were for LGBT equality, but not everyone was so open-minded and considerate of feelings.

What James' blood boil even more, however, was that Jade had to be home-schooled after being brutally bullied for two years. She had been brutally bullied by ignorant, heartless bastards and bitches not only for having two moms, but also because she was a transgender.

Two years ago, she use to be William Lati. James knew Jade before she was Jade, and while he did his best to protect her the only option her moms Lara and Gina saw to solve this problem was to take her out of public school and home-school her instead. They had talked to the principal several times, and Jade's teachers, but they didn't do a damn thing to keep her from getting harassed.

One reason James hated the world: people judged others for stupid reasons. He knew the principal and teachers didn't do a thing simply because, to them, Jade did the wrong thing in going from a he to a she. How was that their fucking business, though? Jade had not been happy with the way she use to be, now she was. She was happy now and that's all that mattered in all honesty; James loved her and Lara and Gina, they were the only friends he had outside the group. He would do anything to protect them, even prank the pants off the bastards and bitches that gave her hell.

And he has, it was only fair after all.

It was only fair, since Jade knew James' family secret.

She, not Lara and Gina though, was the only one outside his usual group of friends that knew he was a half proxy. Heck, she's even seen his face before.

Jade had had the guts to let James in, let him know how unhappy she had been as a boy and trusted him enough to stay, to stay her best friend even when at first she was afraid of being judged by him. The brunet though had educated himself in everything he could to the topic of transgender, from books to consulting with transgender experts; he wanted to be as supportive of Jade as possible, and stuck by Lara and Gina when she started physical transitioning.

Sure, James had been friends with Jade before she became Jade but that didn't matter to him. Jade was beautiful then, and she was beautiful now.

And whoever tried to give her a hard time for being who she is, well they better hope they don't cross paths with James.

If they did, well...they would most likely end up in the hospital.

"Well I can ditch dinner at my place tonight after the band's usual jams later if I can, mind having another mouth to feed?" James said with a playful wink, that making Jade's face break out in a fiery blush once more.

"Of course not, silly! You're always allowed to come over, but just for dinner or sleepover?"

"Just for dinner this time, princess. Don't want to seem too suspicious now, but maybe this weekend I'll stay over?" Jade's eyes sparkled at the possibility.

While James was oblivious to this fact, Lara and Gina knew that their daughter's feelings towards the brunet ran way pass the brother-sister vibe. Her crush on him has not died out, even with the years that have passed. In fact, it looks like she falls for him more every day.

"O-okay!" She said, heart melting at James' answering smile.

"Rad. So, I have a few minutes left before lunch ends so tell me about your day. I'm sure it's much more interesting than how mine's has gone so far." He said with a roll of his eyes, taking her hand and sitting her down next to him on the log.

Jade fought her blush but giggled and began telling him about her day, he snickering from time to time at her animated hand gestures and facial expressions.

**_-Page Break-_**

'Looks like you're hiding more than just one secret, James.' Kendall thought as he spied on the two unsuspecting teens.

He didn't know whether to feel jealous or proud. He pushed the green-eyed monster away and decided to feel proud though, proud of James.

Looks like the Ice Prince doesn't have such a frozen heart after all...


	8. It's Too Close for Comfort

Hey! New chapter of 'Proxy', hope everyone is excited! I won't say much so that everyone can enjoy it, but thank you everyone for your support and kind words! I see Jade's appearance got some questions rising and I will answer those in time, but now...it's time for an action/drama-like scene! Hope everyone is waiting for something to pop, because this chapter...it has it! Thank you again everyone, and without further ado, the new chapter! Please enjoy! :) **Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush or Shay Hanson! All I own is the story's overall plot and the OCs mentioned and/or used!**

* * *

James went to the bathroom before lunch ended, saying good-bye to Jade and telling her to be at the band's jam session tonight. He felt bad that he couldn't make dinner with her and Gina and Lara, so the next best thing would be to rock some of her favorite songs in her honor. Even though Jade seemed like the girl to go more for pop and R&B, she really was a die-hard heavy metal, rock, dub-step and alternative fan.

She liked some of the same bands that James did, like Maroon 5 when they were in a dancing mood, but also like him could go for Skillet, Three Days Grace, Evanescence and Alice in Chains when some days weren't as good as others.

And thanks to him knowing what she liked, he knew the perfect song to open tonight's jam session with.

'Hold your horses there, buddy. Still have to get through fourth period and homework before tonight's session.' The brunet reminded himself with a roll of his eyes, approaching the nearest sink.

He tried his best to not look up and meet the mirror, keeping his body at an angle in case someone came in, as he worked the warm water and soap over his hands. He had taken off his gloves, bad idea to get them soaked, and made sure to clean his palms, fingers and under his nails very thoroughly without pushing the time limit.

He was a clean freak, and really hated germs. He didn't like pressing the idea of being dirty; he was already dirty without the suit, so why be dirty with it?

'Sometimes even I don't understand my own logic.' He mused in his head, reaching out to rip a piece of paper towel from its stand near the window. He didn't mean to leave the water running but he surely didn't want to touch the sink with his now clean, bare hands either; who knows who had touched it earlier, and if THEIR hands had been clean.

Once he dried off his hands and turned off the warm water he wiped down the sink, the smell of antibacterial soap somehow soothing to him. He threw the now dark ball of paper towel into the trashcan and made sure his backpack was by the open doorway where he left it.

"Okay, just pull through English and you'll be fine, James. It's just English; you're pretty good at it, plus your partner in that class is Cam. Kendall won't be able to try anything in there; Miss Jones has the eyes of an eagle too, so that works in your favor." He prepared himself mentally for what was to come, taking a deep breath and turning on his heels to pick up his bag.

...But he couldn't move.

"W-what the?!"

James immediately went into panic mode as he tried in vain to get his legs to move forward; they were stuck to the floor though, almost as if invisible hands were latched onto his pants legs and keeping him in one place. The brunet soon grew frustrated as he began to lash out even more, and in result of his frustration his eyes began to go pitch black. His hands began to crackle with bright blue electricity, his powers causing the lights in the bathroom to go wonky, flickering on and off rapidly.

"Ugh, what the hell! What's g-going on!?" But before he could say more, James felt a sharp shooting pain in his chest; it felt like something was trying to crush his heart under two heavy stone tablets.

The brunet soon began choking, though...not out of his own free-will. It was like his right hand had a mind of its own; it was gripping at James' neck like a vice, sinking its dull fingernails into the skin. Due to the electricity crackling against his palm, the suit began to glitch back and forth. James gasped and tried to pry his hand away with the other but no use; he closed his now marble-like eyes and tried to send a signal to his brothers and sisters. Their powers released immense, strong pulses of raw energy when used; Xavier made sure the suits were super-sensitive to that energy, that way the children knew if one of them was danger and needed help. James tried to concentrate with the lack of oxygen going to his brain, but even when he managed a rather reasonable pulse….no one came.

'W-what?! Dak, S-Shay, Lu! Anyone, can't they feel it?! GUYS!'

'No one can sense it.' James was soon thrown hard against the nearest wall by a force so great it knocked whatever wind he had in him out. His head collided with the thick, brick wall and he slid to the dirty tiled floor, but it didn't take long for a force field to come and cage in the sound waves. It sucked up all the noise like a vacuum, leaving the glitching out boy struggling and screaming only for everything to fall on deaf ears.

"Stop, who's doing this!"

"Me, who else Jamie?"

James gasped at the sound of another voice. There wasn't anyone else in the bathroom with him, the lights now dead to plunge him in almost complete darkness; the light from outside wasn't enough to cut through the shadows.

Jame tried to get to his feet, but his body was unresponsive. He was numb from the neck down, his "blood" now painting the tiled floor as it came from the injury pouring poisonous-smelling dark crimson from his side. He was still attempting to pry his clawing hand away, waves of disgust turning his stomach upside down as he caught glimpses of his charred, almost completely decayed deep violet skin.

"W-who's there?!"

"Me." A crackle of bright blue...no, bright red energy took center stage, its glow making James' brittle, dead black hair seem light orangish-brown.

The sparks began to chase each other like the building of a tornado, before a vapory shape began to take form in the center. The shape didn't have a clear visage, though James took in with horror that it possessed the same eyelid-less eyes, shoulder-length black hair, and ghoulish grin as his true face did.

He was seeing...himself.

The creature, because he wasn't going to accept that _thing_ as him, stepped out of the cloud of bright red sparks; they danced a loop around him once more before dying at his bare feet, his all bone-and-no-skin hand holding a long knife.

It was the long knife...that James had used to butcher Xavier alive.

Kelly had used it as a scientific instrument, what she used to plant the proxy tech inside him and his brothers and sisters to keep them alive.

He had used it to take his father's life away, to turn him into the silent creature he was today.

'N-no…'

"Oh yes, remember this?" The proxy inside James, no the _monster_ he reminded himself wistfully, had the same voice only deeper and scratchier, as if he was talking through a voice modifier. His ghoulish smile stretched even more to reach his right bloodshot eye as he chuckled, running the blade along the walls of his mouth. He didn't have a tongue so he couldn't lick off the dried blood that still clung on to the steel, but that didn't stop him from drowning it in his poisonous saliva; what use to be Xavier's blood sizzled and turned to smoke when it came into contact with the substance, making the creature giggle once more.

"Memories don't really go away, do they?" He asked. He reached out with his free, badly marred hand and grabbed a fistful of James' messy hair, said boy wincing as the long nails scraped his scalp.

"Hahaheh, don't you look pretty?"

"S-shut up, how are you doing this?! Ugh, M-mom gave me that new medicine, how are you controlling my body?!" James spat back, teeth bared in an animalistic snarl.

"Hahaheh, please it's MY body too! I get to do what I want with it, just like you! How come you don't like me, Jamie? I'm hurt, you always seem to reject me…!" The thing said, face contorting to an expression of slight ache.

James threw his head back and forced the hand digging into his skin away, eyes terrified yet facial expression deeply aggravated. "You're sick, you're a monster! Your face, your eyes, everything makes me sick! Y-you killed Dad, you murdered my dad!"

"I'm h-hideous? But I'm you, Jamie! We're the same person!"

"No, no we're not! You were a mistake, you're the worst part of me! I hate you, you ruined my life and have hurt those I care about!"

"You wanted to kill Xavier, James."

"No, n-no I didn't! You made me!"

"You felt threatened; you were kept in a basement lab in a tube for two years. You woke up, saw that strange man and woman, staring up at you as if you were their pet. You saw they did the same thing to your brothers and sisters, so you felt threatened. You wanted to save them, so you did what you could: be the animal inside and protect what's yours.

"Shut up!"

"You had no idea what happened to you; you came out looking like a parody of Jeff the Killer. You were ugly, badly burned and confused, you wanted to know what they did to you.

"They didn't do anything!"

"But you didn't know that until the end. You didn't know that so you lashed out and attacked them; you left a permanent scar on the woman's hip, then took the knife on the table and butchered her partner alive before her eyes. Her lab assistant, her boyfriend and best friend...her own son killed him.

"SHUT UP!"

"But that's okay, because you won't be able to hold me back for much longer. I'll find out why you hate me, why you hide me and then show the world the truth. You won't be able to hide me any longer…"

"STOP!"

**_-Page Break-_**

Soon everything vanished, the vapory creature and force field, the "blood" James had spilled to the tiled floor and any remains of the bright blue (red) energy.

The floor was wiped clean, the lights were back on and humming, James' suit no longer glitching and his hand now lax and under his physical control again. His gloves were folded neatly over his lap, yet the brunet was trembling.

He hid his face behind his hands, soft hazel-green eyes back to normal and wide between his thin, long fingers. His mouth was slack, rough grips of air making his chest fall and rise rapidly.

"N-no. No."

'No...'


	9. A Monster, and It keeps getting Stronger

Hey! New chapter, yay! I do have something to attend for my class later, but that's until late evening so I thought to update 'Proxy' once more! I might update 'Love the Way You Lie' tomorrow or later on this upcoming week. We get Easter off for three days, that plus Saturday and Sunday, so yay another break! Now, this chapter has some more action, with James losing control but in front of Kendall! This time, someone witnesses what is happening to our dear brunet! Read and find out what happens! Hope everyone enjoys this latest chapter, and thank you for the support! I'm little worried about this story, but I will do my best to make it great! I promise, now enough of me talking! Time for the new chapter, again enjoy and tell me what you think! Thank you again, thank you a million times over! :) **Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush or Shay Hanson! All I own is the story's overall plot and the OCs mentioned and/or used!**

* * *

James was tense the whole period.

Kendall and him have been best friends for years. One of the things of being best friends for eleven years is that you pick up subtle hints of when your friend is sad or upset. Of course, James was a proxy; half or not, proxies worked on a different plane of body language and subtle communication than humans did. They were to blend in, not let anyone in and see their inner workings.

But James wanted to be human. He wanted to be that more than anything else, so he always found a way to break the plane his kind worked on to be like a human. He wanted to reject one side of himself to embrace another that no longer existed.

A side that no longer existed…

The brunet had said not a word to him, Camille, Wally and Carlos when he entered the chatter-filled classroom, merely taking his seat beside his sister, sparing her no quick glance as he pulled out his English notebook, dictionary and pencil. He flipped his notebook to a nice, clean page and turned to a random section in his dictionary only to start doodling at the corners of the pages. His expression was emotionless, unreadable while his bangs seem to droop over his eyes. He must have wet his hair for that to happen, since most of the time his chocolate locks were in up in soft spikes.

James, while he sometimes went into loner mode, was usually a talker himself. He would flaunt his pretty boy charm, put on his million-dollar smile and make a conversation with Cam about the outfits to wear for the evening jam slowly approaching or Carlos over one of his newest, harebare stunt ideas. He would even strike up a conversation with Wally, even though the two boys found it hard most of the times since they had little in common; the point was that James Dylan Maxwell-Wainwright did not stay quiet for a long time unless something was wrong.

And by the way he was doing all he could to avoid any contact, something was very, very wrong.

"Jay, you okay?" Camille whispered, keeping her voice down so Miss Jones wouldn't get them in trouble for talking during her lecture.

Said brunet gave his sister the cold shoulder, though...not by choice.

'Don't respond to her. If you do, well...you know what could happen.' James silently gritted his teeth at hearing that _thing_ giving him orders, telling him what to do like a master to a servant but the end did as he was told.

He couldn't afford to glitch here, in front of his other human classmates and teacher. If he did…

"Jay, James answer me. I'm worried about you, you're rarely this quiet!" Camille tried again, putting a hand over her brother's on the table they shared.

'Shake her off, or I'll shock her.' The_ thing_ growled in James' ear, said boy flinching as his hand, without his consent, snuck out from under Camille's and slapped it away.

"Don't touch me." He hissed venomously, inside begging for help though. That was not him talking, he can swear to God right now that he didn't mean to say that! He would never show such disrespect to anyone, especially to his brothers and sisters!

What he was really screaming inside, what he was screaming for was for help. The medicine was either not working anymore or defective. He felt as if he was a puppet on strings; he was only doing and saying what his master wanted him to, he was robbed of his own free will.

James felt his heart break at seeing the mixture of shock and hurt crossing his normally loud, hyper sister's angelic face, weak tears in her dark brown, almost black now, eyes.

Camille rarely broke down, rarely cried. She was the optimistic one of the six, always looking on the bright side and getting involved in crazy schemes with Carlos and Kendall's baby sister, Katie. She rarely got sad or even upset; she had died once but got a second chance to live, she wanted to enjoy this second chance as much as possible even with her life now different from what it was when she was five.

But when it came to her brothers and sisters, her family and friends, Camille's rare vulnerable side came out.

"J-James…?"

"Sorry but I do not wish to be touched right now, you can understand right? Don't look so sad now, Cam, we're suppose to be paying attention. We can talk later, okay? But right now, mind your own business."

'Stop making me saying things I don't mean!' James hissed mentally, though the creature inside merely laughed.

'Right, as if you acting like a complete jerk to Kendall is different from what I'm doing to Camille.' It spat back.

'T-that's different! Kendall...nevermind that, this is my sister! You hurt her, and I kill you!' James growled. Again, all he got as a response was a scratchy, throaty laugh.

'Or I can kill you right here, right now in front of her. Think about it, how would she feel about losing you? She lost Brooke, that torn her apart; if she loses you too, well who's the one who resembles more Brooke? You, that's right you so if you die...it will be like losing two people at the same time to her: her brother, and her mom again.'

'Fuck you.' James said.

'Love you too.' The _thing_ replied, before James felt the heavy surge of pressure on his shoulders dissipate. He could breathe evenly once more, body not as tight and stiff.

He had control again.

"C-Cam…" James began but soon the bell went off. Camille wiped at her eyes and rose from her seat, not bothering to look back at her brother.

Kendall, Carlos and Wally were gently pushed aside by the curly-haired brunette, all eyeing James now.

"James, what happened?" Kendall asked. The brunet bit his lower lip, hazel-green eyes now a thick golden-red in distress.

James swallowed hard, hands trembling away in his pockets. "I...I-I do not know. I need to be alone." Was all he could manage to say before speeding past the three, ignoring when Wally shouted at his back.

"James, James bro wait up!" Wally pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose, sighing when the taller boy disappeared into the throngs of screaming, blabbering teens.

"Ken, something is seriously up with Jay. He never talks to anyone like that, especially Camille!" Carlos pointed out, the dirty blond at his side narrowing his bright bottle green eyes.

"I know buddy, I know. Listen, you take my keys and drive everyone home; I know James, when he gets like this he prefers to walk home from school. I'll catch up to him and see if I can find out what's bothering him, text Papa X and Mama W to let them something's up."

**_-Page Break-_**

'T-this can't be happening…!'

James clutched at his head as if suffering a killer migraine, stopping at the gates of one of the many L.A. parks. This one was not too far from the fancy, rich and snobbish neighbor his family unfortunately had to reside in but it was empty, bare and deserted. No laughing children, no scolding parents or the sound of the squeaky swing-set. It was also getting dark very fast today, something strange to him; it usually didn't get this dark this fast, like a bottle of ink the sky was black with thick clouds and no moon.

It was dark, and the darkness only added more to the creepy, eerie vibe he was already getting at being alone here.

"GAH!" James felt a sharp-shooting pain enter his lower stomach, the ache so immense it forced him to his knees. Bright red energy began to crackle and spark between his hands, his suit shutting down to reveal his deep violet skin, ghoulish grin and long, brittle black hair.

'N-no, what's happening!?'

'I said you wouldn't be able to hide me for much longer…!'

"GAH! N-NO, PLEASE!"

"JAMES!"

**_-Page Break-_**

Kendall had sprinted through the park gates when he saw sparks of bright red energy light up the dark sky like fireworks, all of it coming from nearby the swing-set. Throwing his backpack aside and jacket, the dirty blond worked his way through the monkey bars and slide to see James curled up on his side on the ground, hands to his chest while...what seemed like waves of more raw, shocking red energy escaped his violently trembling body.

"JAMES!"

"K-Kendall? No, n-no don't come any closer!" James pleaded, another choking noise leaving him as a slab of red light was coming from his torso, the source of where all the raw energy was coming from.

The brunet's eyes were marble black once more, and when he threw out his hand to stop the blond from continuing forward...a bolt of red energy cut through the air, aimed for Kendall.

"J-James…!" Kendall managed between his lips, shock paralyzing him to his spot.

'You want him out of your life so badly, then I'll do it!'

'NO!'

"NO!" James launched a small force field Kendall's way, knocking the blond down to the ground. The bold of red energy met the swingset and blew it up instantly, tiny pieces of metal and worn wood soon raining down from the sky. The runaway sparks bounced off the ground, the slide and even the metal gates, a large one in particular cinching Kendall's right hand.

"AH!" Said blond pressed his now badly burned hand to his chest, trying to keep the blood flow low as he struggled to get to James.

"J-James, are you okay?!"

'N-no...'

'See what I told you? All you can do is hurt others, even the one you love.' The thing hissed in his ear, the scratchy, throaty laughter drowning the brunet,

'I-I need...I need to leave! If I don't leave now, I'll only hurt Kendall more! I need to get away, be alone! It's the only way I'll be able to calm down!'

"I-I need to go!" James' physical features were hidden somewhat by the darkness surrounding them, yet Kendall managed to catch a glimpse of his brittle, dead shoulder-length black hair before James concentrated a sphere of pure white light between his hands.

No, he was going to use his teleportation ability!

"J-James wait, stop!"

"S-Sherwood, Minnesota." James whispered, "tears" running down his face.

"James, no!" Kendall threw his whole body forward in a last ditch attempt to stop James.

Only to meet the ground.

He fell face down into the dirt, coughing up bits of grass and rock to see that he landed on the spot James was only a few seconds ago, scorch marks still sizzling with life.

"JAMES!"

**_-Page Break-_**

James landed in the woods, the same woods...where he had been found along with his brothers and sister eleven years ago.

This is where it all started, this is where everything went wrong.

The brunet found shelter under the biggest tree he could find, sliding to the ground with his back to the trunk. He was sobbing now, completely ripped down to his weakest and screaming and shouting, crying and whimpering.

But he was alone, the only person around to hear him was himself.

Himself and the _thing._

'M-Mom, Dad please come get me…please, please tell me I didn't kill Kendall. Oh Kendall, Kendy I'm sorry…!'

"I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry...that I'm this monster." James wiped at his face, yet the tears only ran faster, colder down his marred cheeks. He began shaking his head violently back and forth, feeling so alone, so empty inside.

'I-It's getting stronger, this beast inside is getting stronger. I-I'm turning...turning into a monster.'

He had hurt his sister, and had attacked his best friend in the whole wide world. He at the moment had not cared about killing Kendall, not cared at all; all he wanted was for this to stop.

He didn't want to keep hiding away, he didn't want to be a monster.

All he wanted was to fit in, be normal. All he wanted...was for this monster to die.

'I-if I die, then it dies with me. I need to k-kill it, I need it kill it! Something, s-something here can help! I need to kill it, get rid of it. It has to end, it has to end here. It has to end...with me, I'm only trouble for everyone else. I-I need...to kill this thing before it hurts anyone else. Before...it can hurt K-Kendall again.'


	10. You Belong to Me

Hey! I had an accident of sorts Sunday and so I've been under strict rest rules by my sisters. Thankfully they still allow me to write, so here I am to write for a while! I can't push my limits to the breaking point, hence why this chapter may seem short, but hopefully it's still as good! Thank you to everyone for all the support and reviews for this story; so far so good, hope everyone sticks around for the long haul! I'll probably update 'Love the Way You Lie' this weekend or Monday afternoon (We have Easter break; Friday off of this week and Monday of next week, oh yeah) so hope you all are excited about that as well! Thanks to my sister Sara-chan for motivating me to write this chapter! Thank you to her and to all! Enjoy! :) **Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush or Shay Hanson! All I own is the story's overall plot and the OCs mentioned and/or used! STRANGE happenings in this chapter, just a warning!**

* * *

A body moved through the woods. It moved at such a speed, if anyone was trying to follow its movements they'd fail in seconds. The speed it was moving at, it blurred the body completely of distinct features; even if it did stop, however, there would be nothing to catch in terms of physical features.

Because the body was a dark blue all over, a dark blue and releasing a dim glow from the electricity surrounding it like a mystical aura. The glow changed back and forth from a vibrant red to soft white, it taking on a soft white at this point when it reached a lake.

The body lost its blur affect, the person male by the partially visible body shape and contours. Nothing else could be pointed out besides that, though. Not even his eyes. They were just soft white, glowing orbs but no pupils or retinas to be seen.

They lacked order, structure and design. Almost like a blank canvas, just with only a few carefully chosen splatters of paint.

The male creature (it had the body of a human male, the height and maybe even the weight of the average, lanky teenage boy too but again nothing else could really sharpen the already bleak description) cocked its head to the side, as if inspecting the dark waters and tall trees at its borders. The sky was dark, no stars but a hearty full moon. Everything at the moment seemed quiet, serene.

Or dead, that's how he really saw it. Dead, empty, lifeless. There was no life; everything and everyone has gone away to escape the dark, the horrors that these woods can unleash.

But then something caught his attention. He tilted his head back, taking in the air. A smell. A rich, intoxicating smell: it was a mixture of weathered down wood, like spring rain, and vanilla. It was heavy in the air, blocking out the other scents of the woods. It was scent very strong, bittersweet and it made his mouth water the more he took it in.

It was coming from the lake.

With the strength and grace of a puma, the creature threw its body forward; the surface of the lake was broken as if a submarine was rising from its depths, the waves never touching the now fast swimming (once more) blur though. It was like they were evading him; he was poison to them, poison that if they touched they'd be toxic too.

The creature stayed underwater for several minutes; its head broke the surface once more, sending the waves once more into chaos, and began trekking towards land.

Its hair, long up front and shorter in the back, seemed to droop down over its glowing eyes even though no water drops ran down its shiny, dark blue-greenish skin. The ground turned black, the grass dying and rock turning gray, when his feet finally met solid footing.

He had a limp, lithe body hanging over his right shoulder, he careful to sit the body down so not to cause any (further) damage to it.

The body was that of another teenage boy, taller and with more muscle, with deep violet skin, brittle shoulder-length black hair and large eyes staring up at him. A rather large ghoulish grin was on the boy's badly marred face, but it was obvious he was unconscious; his breathing was slow and even, as if he was sleeping.

But he wasn't. It was obvious why he had been in the lake, stiff as a fallen statue and not interested in resurfacing.

He must have tried to commit suicide by drowning himself.

It was a failed attempt, the creature knew this simply by the fact that he was still breathing. Even if he had held his breath for a while and let any fear paralyze him, the proxy side had kicked in and spared him. He may not be conscious, the proxy probably resting now from having used up too much of its own energy, but he had not achieved his goal.

He was still alive. He was still alive, even if from what the creature had observed...that he had wanted to die.

He had wanted it all to end; to him, everything had to end with him.

'No one's around yet, which means I have time.' The creature's thoughts were laced with venom as he crouched by the boy's right side and ran two fingers over his leathery red, deeply cut lips.

The ground began to feel...uneven to the creature now though, followed by small yet powerful energy pulses making the rocks on the ground tremble.

'Damn, Xavier's coming! I have to do this quick!' The creature went into mental cursing parade at this, picking up his pace. He gathered James into his arms, cradling his head to his torso.

The brunet's arms were slack, legs loosely curled under him; his body began to glow a bright blue. It was a sign that he was about to glitch, his proxy side was now going to attempt to take control of his body.

'No you don't.' The creature's lips twisted up into a smile before he pressed said lips against James' cool, frozen ones, smirking as he practically drank from the brunet. All the bright blue energy trying to break free was being absorbed by the shorter male, all the while its body took on a vibrant red as he fed and fed.

Xavier wasn't the only one who fed of half proxy energy.

Once the bright blue glow began to fade, the creature withdrew its lips from James', running a long, silvery-colored tongue over them.

"You're really delicious, you know that?" He whispered to the still unconscious teen, before he opened his mouth wide once more and sunk his canine-like teeth into the space between James' right shoulder and collarbone.

Said brunet's body jolted at the bite, at the intensity and raw force behind it but it wasn't enough to stir him awake. He was drained, drained completely from what he tried to do and the energy taken from him.

Xavier did feed from him and his brothers and sisters, but there was a limit as to how much he can take.

This creature however took it all, every drop. James would be out for hours now; he would need time to rest, gain his strength back and be checked.

He will have that done. But right now, the creature had something to give him.

'Just so you don't forget me. And this will make keeping tabs on you easier, James.' The creature sunk its teeth deeper and deeper until it was satisfied; once living, breathing tissue now decayed tore a little once his mouth left James' skin, two letters forming an initial left behind.

J.C.

The creature ran two fingers over the newly formed letter-shaped scars, as if soothing them with skin cream. They glowed a dark blue before...they completely vanished from sight, as if they never were there to begin with.

'Only I can make them appear. We're now connected, which means...wherever you go, I'll follow. I'll know where you are, James.' A beam of pure white light cut through the trees a few miles away. The creature's ears perked up, catching the racket of nicely polished dress shoes pounding against earth.

Daddy's coming.

"Catch you later, pretty boy. Hope you have dreams of me." The creature's voice was heavily distorted; it greatly resembled the sound of a transmission being interrupted. Still, before leaving he traced James' lips lightly with his index finger before he took off in the opposite direction of the now faded away white light, sticking close to the trees.

Xavier won't be able to trace anything out of normal, even with his energy signature strong in the area. Unlike James, the creature wasn't an incomplete proxy. Plus, his energy signature was very different from James', Camille's or any of the other half proxies he and Kelly are raising as "ordinary kids". He wouldn't leave anything behind, and the only link to him was buried in James' skin.

In his skin, and also in his mind.

Once he wakes up, that link will kick in. It will bond them together, their thoughts, minds, everything.

It would be like they were the same person.

'I got him, he's mine. I'll have to wait for now, but once I have him in my hands...he'll do whatever Master says. I'll have him in my hands real soon, and no one will be able to stop me.'


	11. Put me to Sleep, Evil Angel

Hello! I got another major project done! The first one yesterday, the second today! Which means only TWO left! Yes, yes, yes! To celebrate? A new chapter of 'Proxy'! Sadly I was unable to recover the work I had before, all saved up and completed, but I did remember what I wrote! Yay for short-term memory not getting me this time! So, if I remember we stopped a strange creature branding James with the initials J.C. I wonder if my dear readers have tried to figure what those letters stand for. Sadly it will not be revealed in this chapter, and because this chapter is short not much action will be taking place. What WILL be revealed in this chapter however is more interaction between said strange creature and James! James is unconscious right now, but is now under this being's influence! He is under this being's influence, whether that is good or bad will be determined later on in the story! But please enjoy this new chapter, thank you everyone for being patient with me and I will try to update this week once ALL my projects are complete! Now sit back, have your favorite food or drink nearby and enjoy the show! Thank you for the support everyone, very much appreciated and again enjoy! :) **Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush or Shay Hanson! All I own is the story's overall plot and the OCs mentioned and/or used!**

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James had to spend the night in the lab. Kelly had treated him as best as she could, yet she and Xavier could not figure out what had left their dear son so drained of energy. His powers never used him up to this extent, and his proxy side was also dormant at the moment. The only thing they could think of to speed up his recovery was to contain him in the lab, much to the dismay of his siblings and friends.

No one was allowed to be in the lab, well apart from Kelly and Xavier, while the brunet was recovering. Incomplete proxies could glitch out even in their sleep and because they were unconscious while resting, their powers ranged from slightly haywire to total chaos in terms of intensity. Despite the fact that James was very weak, his human side had no control what his proxy half could do.

So there he rested, floating in a tube. He was floating in a cylinder of what was "blood" for him and his siblings, an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose with several tubes in his arms and legs. His suit had been stripped off, so his eyelid-less eyes were wide open yet no movement came from them. His dark red lips were in their infamous large, ghoulish grin and his deep violet skin glowed in the dim light at his bare feet; his frame was limp like that of a rag-doll's, stray stands of his brittle black hair hanging over his face.

He was alone. Alone and defenseless.

'Perfect'.

From the shadows appeared the mysterious creature, the creature that had found James in woods. Its long, silvery-colored tongue ran over its teeth as a smile pulled at its shapeless lips, fingers dancing against the glass of James' tank.

"You're so fragile, aren't you? So fragile, so weak yet at the same time you can take out an entire city. You have so much power and you don't use it; that can be bad though, Jamie. Keeping the animal caged in for too long can drive it insane,it could end up killing you."

The creature raised its left hand and clenched it into a tight fist.

Just like that James woke up from his slumber, gasping behind the oxygen mask and frantically looking around himself. When his dark, marble-like eyes fell on the stranger, his struggling grew worse.

'W-what's going on?' James thought, panic flooding his entire body. He began to bang his fists against the glass, shaking his head and attempting to use whatever energy he had now to fight.

His hands glowed a dim blue but nothing else happened. He was still too drained; the "blood" could only speed up his recovery so much...

'M-mom, Dad! Help me, help me!' James screamed in his head, hoping Xavier would catch hold of his racing thoughts.

'That won't work, James. They can't hear you anymore.' Instead of his father's reassuring silence however, James heard a deep, distorted voice echo in his head, in response to his pleas.

The creature relished in the bittersweet smell that was James' scent, it making hunger tickle at his stomach.

'W-who are you?' James' voice was soft, like a child's.

He wasn't so tough without his powers.

'I'm your guardian angel.' The creature responded once more through their mental link, closing it eyes while its whole body began to glow a vibrant red.

James' already wide eyes grew even wider, fearing the worst as he pressed himself into the nearest wall of his tank. He could feel pressure begin to squeeze at him in all directions, as if he was trying to crawl through a thick rubber tube. His breathing began to shorten and sharpen, all the while his bones began to dig into each other; a light-headed sensation left him dizzy and numb all over, heart racing fast and painful within his rib cage.

'S-stop! Stop, please! Don't hurt-!'

**_-Page Break-_**

James gasped, taking in large gulps of air.

He was...no longer floating in the tank. Its glass was still intact, the "blood" inside still circulating as if in a vein but the oxygen mask was now at the bottom of the tank, the other tubes lingering about without any sense of direction. He was in the creature's arms, dry and conscious. His head was resting against a hard, strong chest while long, slightly muscular arms wove around his frame like vines.

The creature was staring down at him with large, all-white eyes, one hand under James' chin.

"Are you alright?" It asked, its voice distorted somewhat but it was clear it was that of a male's.

James tried to talk but he couldn't find his voice; all he could do was smile (unwillingly) up at the strange being, while said thing brushed back locks of his brittle, shoulder-length black hair.

"James, James are you alright?"

"Y-yes..." Said boy finally found something to say, yet his voice seem to tremble.

He was scared, confused and unsure whether to fight back or not.

Something inside him didn't want to, despite the fact he's never seen this creature before in his life.

"W-who are you?" The creature's face seem to break out in a smile, even though any distinct facial features were unclear.

"My name is Jack, James."

'W-why does that name sound so familiar?' James racked his brain for an answer, some memory he wasn't quite reliving but all attempts resulted in a blank.

"My name sounds familiar because we're linked, James." Jack replied, reading the other's thoughts. He smiled softly when he saw James looked slightly taken back at this.

"You c-can...read my mind?"

"Yeah I can, and you can read mine too."

"I can?"

"Yeah, it comes with us being linked together. I'm an incomplete proxy like you, James."

'I have powers like you.' Jack added in as a mental after-thought, James unable to believe that he could hear the other's voice loud and clear in his head, as if over a megaphone.

"W-where did you come from?"

"Like I said, I'm your guardian angel. Do you remember what your mom use to tell you and your siblings, after dinner and before bed that she has angels watching over you? That she has these special guardian angels keeping you guys safe and sound when she's away...do you remember that?"

A look of agony crossed James' face at this; it was clear that none of what Jack said rang bells to him. "N-no..." He responded, ducking his head in shame.

Jack hid a smirk and tilted James' chin upwards so their faces met again, all-white eyes soft and gentle. "You don't? Well that's okay Jamie, don't be sad. Don't be sad, my little star, it's okay.

'T-that...that nickname, it feels familiar too. Like his name.'

"That's what your mom use to call you, Jamie." Jack whispered, moving his hand from the other's chin to cup his face.

"Y-you know about that?"

"Yes, you see unlike you I have powers that allow me to see other's memories; just because you can't recall them, doesn't mean they're gone forever. I was one of those angels, Jamie, I was meant to protect you but...I-I failed. I let that horrible accident happen, I didn't do everything in my power to save you. And that's why I'm here...t-to beg for forgiveness, and ask you to let me take care of you. I failed you once but I swear to never let that happen again! I will always be here for you, now and forever but please forgive me! Forgive me; I'm angry enough as it is that I let someone hurt you, but the fact that I couldn't protect the one I love..."

"L-love, you love m-me...?" Jack's lips twisted into a smile once more, on his knees as he held James close.

"Yes, I do. I've loved you since the first time I saw you. You are beautiful, amazing and wonderful. My Ice Prince, my little star."

'B-but I'm a monster.' James thought with a suppressed sob. Jack's features grew dark though, those words bouncing off the walls of his skull.

"Don't. Ever. Say. That. Again. You're not a monster, and if you are...then I am too. I'm a monster too, but all I want out of life is to protect you, love you the way you should be. James, let me be here for you; let me take care of you, I promise I promise...that I will always be here. Your guardian angel, sent by your mom to watch over you. My little star, my Jamie..." Jack purred before he pressed his lips to James' softly, muffling a surprised gasp from the other boy.

James placed his hands on Jack's shoulders as if to push him away, only for him to pull him closer and kiss back, unaware that he was slipping back into unconsciousness until he blacked out in the other's arms.

Jack ran his long tongue across his lips, a sinister smirk on his lips.

'He's mine. I got him. Hahaha, you're mine now James...'

Said boy was unresponsive to the other's thoughts, the numbing darkness claiming him shutting out the noise once buzzing in his head.


	12. You and Me, can write a Bad Romance

Hello everyone, did you miss me? I'm sorry for being so out of the zone for my stories. I've been kind of busy with finals overload plus I find myself suffering from writer's block. That, along with stress from friends fighting...yeah, I found myself unable to write with lack of sleep and all the drama going on with my finals and friends (I'm now doubtful if we'll be able to live together next semester without constant conflict). I didn't want to keep writing short chapters; they might create suspense and curiosity, but don't really push the story forward as much. That being said, since I updated 'Under the Mask' I then decided to update 'Proxy'. I'll possibly update 'Under the Mask' again later, then 'Love the Way You Lie'. Again sorry for the delays but thank you all for being understanding and supportive even in my absence. Now, author's note is done...time for a new chapter! What happens to James the next morning, after becoming one mentally with this mysterious Jack character? Is he dead, or is that planned for the future? Again we will see, please read and enjoy! Thank you everyone for the reviews, support and overall beauty that everyone is inside and out! I appreciate it very much, and so without further ado here is the new installment of 'Proxy'! Thank you, thank you all again and enjoy! **Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush, Jack (yep, he isn't an OC!) or Shay Hanson! All I own is the story's overall plot and the OCs mentioned and/or used! I know this chapter is short, please forgive me! The next one will be longer, and that is not the case then everyone has the right to call me out on it!**

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Lucy and Camille knew something was off when they caught the scent of pancakes when they left their room for the kitchen.

Of course pancakes weren't a rarity in the Maxwell-Wainwright household, after all they had pancakes just yesterday morning. Pancakes weren't made every day; Kelly always liked keeping breakfast, lunch and dinner dishes fresh with new recipes and flavors. She had a huge spice collection in the pantry, being a chef of sorts was something else she was known for other than being a brilliant scientist.

Still, these pancakes had blueberries in them, with whip cream (the real stuff, not the gross knock-off) and raspberry syrup. And omelets, fluffy and hearty omelets with rich American cheese, spinach and turkey bacon.

There was only one person who made the best omelets in the house. Sure Kelly and even Xavier knew how to work eggs in the kitchen, but Xavier usually sprinkled pepper and light hot sauce on his omelets. Kelly would stuff her omelets with tomatoes and broccoli; no one else in the house knew how to make omelets, not unless burned ones counted.

"James?" Camille called out, stifling a yawn as she and her girlfriend trekked barefoot into the dinning room. Lucy's hair was a mess, waves of red-streaked black hair sticking up as if she had just been electrocuted. Camille's hair wasn't as untamed, just a few loose curls framing her face and free from the low ponytail; both were still in their pajamas, consisting of matching tanks and shorts, and had leftover foam from brushing their teeth, yet when they blinked the sleep from their eyes and took in the dinning table all nicely set with food, the off feeling their shared grew stronger.

"Jamie, you in here?" Lucy asked this time around, eyeing the omelets slowly cooling on the polished, shiny plates.

"When did he do this? I mean, we didn't hear anything and he was on lock-down in the lab..." Camille pointed out, picking up a wine glass filled to the brim with fresh, hand-squeezed orange juice.

It didn't surprise them that James made breakfast; the brunet may act cold, but he wasn't deep down. He always did things for his family, like make breakfast and do the family laundry, do Stephanie's hair if she asked him to and feed Hades when Lucy or Camille were too stressed from homework. He wasn't so...sweet sometimes, but he wasn't a monster either.

Despite what he believed of himself...

Yet he rarely went all out like this unless there was a special occasion. Of course Dak's birthday was tomorrow, but James had already claimed to make dinner for him so why all this?

Had the girls missed something?

"I don't know, but something's weird about all this. I like Jay's cooking and all, but something's different today." Lucy said, biting her lower lip. Before Camille could give her input however, James waltzed into the room with a big grin on his soft lips.

"Hey, how's my two princesses doing this morning? You two hungry, I hope so because I made enough to feed an army!" He exclaimed, flashing his brilliant white teeth.

Lucy and Camille stared at him, unable to believe their eyes.

For one, James wasn't dressed all classy as if he was about to meet the Queen of England. He was in a regular black V-neck and light blue skinny jeans, worn-out Vans and instead of using the 20-20 vision chip in his suit, he was sporting fashionable whole, thick-rimmed black glasses. His hair was just as wild and wind-swept as normal, yet there was something different about in the gleam in his eyes, which instead of being their usual hazel-green were a lively golden-brown.

The gleam was...happy, free as if he had finally let go of a terrible burden he's been carrying for years now.

Not that his sisters didn't like seeing him happy...but it was strange that he seemed so perky and cheeky after the draining nightmare he went through yesterday.

"M-morning Jay, umm you feeling okay?" Lucy asked, reaching out and taking his hand. She wasn't normally the emotional type, that was more Camille or Stephanie's strong point, but she would be lying if she said she hadn't be worried sick about her brother the other night.

James' smile broadened and he kissed the top of her head, nodding. "Oh I'm better than okay, Lu! I'm fantastic, today's such a beautiful day! Are you two hungry, I'm just about done with the toast. Help yourselves to what's already set, hey babe is the toast ready yet?!" James turned from his sister briefly to call into the kitchen, where the smell of pancakes and eggs still lingered.

Wait, babe?!

"James, who are you talking to?" Camille asked cautiously, putting a hand to his shoulder. Said boy readdressed his attention to the two girls once more, smiling apologetically.

"Oh sorry, I forgot to tell you guys that today's a really important day for me! You, Mom and Dad, Shay, Dak and Steph are finally meeting my boyfriend!"

Wait, boyfriend?!

"What boyfriend?!" Camille and Lucy exclaimed at the same time, eyes threatening to fall out of their skulls.

James' face broke out into an embarrassed blush at this, setting down the extra plates down in the center of the dinning table. "Umm, I've been keeping a big secret of sorts from you all...I've actually been dating someone for about eight months.

"Eight months?!" Lucy exclaimed, looking positively vivid. James smiled sheepishly at this, not at all rattled by his rocker girl of a sister's behavior. She tended to react this way when she was put out of the loop about something; she got the same way when she was the last one to really notice that Shay and James had a friends-with-benefits relationship.

"Yeah eight, we were going to let Mom and Dad and you guys know about it earlier but I was kind of worried...I was kind of worried that you wouldn't approve of him." The brunet finished his explanation once he was sure Lucy wasn't going to explode again. Camille swallowed hard, something not quite right here.

If James has a boyfriend...then who was it? The siblings, apart from having different classes, were always together. They were a tightly-knitted group, closer than average brothers and sisters. They were all very close plus shared the same group of best friends; just who was this guy James was acting all lovey-dovey over?

Was it...Kendall?

"J-Jamie, are you dating Ke- Camille began to say, when another voice entered the conversation.

"Hey babe, toast done!" The two girls couldn't help but freeze at the other voice, James' face lighting up like a Christmas tree.

"Okay, bring it in J! Cam, Lu, guess you two will be the first ones to meet my boyfriend Jack!"

Jack?

"Who the hell is-" Lucy began herself yet her jaw dropped when she saw who walked into the dinning room with a plate towered high with whole-grain toast with cream cheese. Camille had the same facial expression: large eyes, slack jaw and face paling to a corpse white shade.

'Oh God...'

**_-Page Break-_**

A thin, lanky teenage boy was soon at James' side, his plate of toast-free hand going around the brunet's waist. He was around the same age as Camille, Lucy, James and the rest of their siblings, but looked a year or two younger in physical appearance. He had short dirty blond hair, though a bit longer in comparison to Shay or Kendall's, thick dark blond eyebrows and a pair of lively green eyes. They weren't a polished bottle green like Kendall's or a soft olive like Shay's, but a more of a dark forest green. They were shiny under the light of the dinning room chandelier, as if someone had lit a match inside him. His skin was a soft peach, followed by a blunt nose and full, dark pink lips. His dimples came out with the small yet charming smile he had on, his growing runner's built outlined well by the dark red, striped t-shirt and light blue skinny jeans he was sporting. He was walking around barefoot and had a gray hoodie tied around his waist, a plain black baseball cap pulled over his thick, messy locks.

James was staring at him with a look of full-blown admiration and longing, wrapping his arms around the shorter boy's neck and resting his head on his right shoulder. "Well, what do you think? Lu, Cam, I'd like to introduce you to my boyfriend, Jack Chaser. Jack, these are my sisters Lucy and Camille." He said, letting out a soft chuckle when the blond boy ended up pressing a soft kiss to his nose.

"Nice to meet you ladies, James talks about his brothers and sisters all the time. I've been wanting to meet everyone for a while now." Jack Chaser greeted politely, eyes growing shiner as he did a small bow of sorts for the girls.

At this Camille fainted, Lucy still conscious enough to catch her girlfriend before she'd hit the ground, though her expression remained a mixture of shock and confusion.

This guy...he looked just like...

'K-Kendall and S-Shay, I'm seeing triple!' She screamed in her head, tearing her gaze away from the happy couple to face the stairs.

"MOM! DAD! YOU GUYS BETTER GET DOWN HERE, LIKE NOW!"


	13. You made Me a Prisoner, Prisoner of Love

Hello! I won't say much since I want to get this chapter up and ready for everyone to read and enjoy, but thank you everyone all the love and support! I saw I got some interesting reactions to the new guy in James' life! Hahaha, yay! That means everyone is wondering if this guy is really a killer or much, much worse! We'll see in the future, but for now enjoy! Let's see how James' family takes to his for-eight-months-secret boyfriend! Haha, thank you again everyone and please enjoy! **Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush, Jack or Shay Hanson! All I own is the story's overall plot and the OCs mentioned and/or used!**

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"So Jack, how did you and Jamie meet?" Kelly asked, she and Xavier stiff in their seats.

After hearing Lucy shout up the stairs, everyone had rushed like chickens with their heads cut off to see what was going on. To say everyone was boggled at first was an understatement. Dak and Stephanie had thought that who James was caught kissing with had been Kendall, making said brunette and Shay feel relief in the pit of their stomachs. If Kendall and James were together, that meant they have finally stopped beating around the bush and decided to be happy with each other.

If they were happy together, that meant that Stephanie and Shay could be happy together too.

But after they saw that the blond boy looked a few years younger than James, probably two at best, and had more a snarky, cool charm to him, their thought was now out the window.

And that left James' siblings (apart from Lucy and Camille, who had their eyes on Jack the whole time over the table) and parents completely lost over the missing "triplet" that Kendall and Shay apparently had.

Jack, who was busy tending to everyone's needs to sit down and eat, turned to Kelly and gave her the same smile he gave Lucy and Camille. A chill passed down the dark-haired woman's spine; that smile seemed sweet, yet very devious at the same time.

"We met in detention. Well, I was in detention while he was just finishing up some after school tutoring; I was on my way out when we ran into each other, literally, and from there we stopped and talked for a few minutes. Eventually those few minutes turned into an hour and...I guess everything just fell into place from there." Jack explained with a gentle kiss to James' cheek as he poured him some more juice.

Said brunet blushed once more and hid a smile behind his hand, trying his best to focus on his pancakes. Xavier resisted the urge to throttle the boy. He did not like him one bit and this Jack character hasn't done much to try and get on his and his wife's good side. Showing too much PDA towards his son, rarely meeting his other children's eyes, more focused on something not in the room. Call this over protectiveness, but to Xavier it was caution.

Something about this boy just didn't feel right.

Kelly noticed how uneasy her husband's facial expression had become and took his hand under the table, rubbing soothing circles against his knuckles. Xavier's too blue-green eyes met his wife's soft coffee brown ones and let out a silent sigh, he squeezing her hand back/

'I know, I don't like this either but we have to keep this act up. If we want to figure out what's going on and what this boy really wants with our son, then we'll have to play along.' She smiled when Xavier understood her thought process and smiled a small smile back at her, they returning their attention back to the table and task at hand.

"Really, hmm it still surprises me that you were able to keep this a secret, honey. After all, you tell me and your father everything..." James shot his mother a light glare.

"Mom, you and Dad aren't always so easy to get along with. I was afraid you guys would judge him before you really got to know, like I know you're doing now..." He replied, Xavier shooting him a stern look in response. He shouldn't talk to his mother like that; she was only trying to look out for him.

"So when did you come to our school? I've never seen you before until now." Dak said, taking on the role of the over protective big brother, eyeing Jack like Camille and Lucy as he served Stephanie some more pancakes.

"Oh, I transferred a few weeks into the school year. I'm not exactly a social person though, I rarely hang around school once it's over and done with for the day." Jack said, ignoring his seat at the table. It was beside Xavier.

'Humph, this is too easy.' The dirty blond thought with a mental smirk, not at all worried about James overhearing his thoughts; he knew how to cut off the mind link.

He could cut it off and switch back on at his will. James, however, couldn't; the brunet had no choice but to keep it on, though he was oblivious to Jack's ability to severe their connection to his pleasure.

"So you don't have friends?" Stephanie stated flatly, Shay holding back a chuckle while James turned to her with a heated look in his now smoldering golden-red eyes.

"Steph, be nice!"

"It's okay, Jamie. No, I don't have friends. I have brothers and sisters sure, but we go to different schools. We don't exactly get along, so my dad tries to keep the peace by having us attend different schools."

"Brothers and sisters, how many?" Lucy asked, James seething inside.

What was this, a nice family breakfast or secret interrogation 101?

"I have two brothers, both older than me, and three sisters." Jack said, Shay raising an eyebrow at this.

"Just like us, huh what a coincidence." He pointed out, though he felt a little scared when Jack gave him a slow, bittersweet grin.

"Yeah, it is a coincidence. I was surprised when James told me that, but at the same time I felt happy. It's nice to know that there's someone who knows what it's like to have siblings; it can be nice you know, because you're not really alone but at the same time when you don't get along with said siblings...it's hard to feel accompanied in your own home."

"I know the feeling." James whispered to him, getting glares from his brothers and sisters.

"Hey, we get along." Shay snapped, for some reason feeling hurt. He didn't mind that James didn't love him the way they have pretended for so long to others, in fact it didn't bother him in the slightest that James loved Kendall. He was happy for them and wished they would just get together already, that way everyone could be in a relationship that would make them happy. But it was the fact that James seemed...different right now, as if he was hating being around his family and would rather be with Jack.

Plus, if this relationship really has been going on for eight months, why the HELL did the brunet keep his friends-with-benefits charade with Shay on the side?

'This doesn't make sense.' He added in his head, though he snapped out of his stupor when James replied.

"Yeah we do, but it's hard to relate to anyone in this family. Everyone is okay with being...different, but not me. Well, I use to hate being different...not so much anymore." James said, that last bit striking Xavier as odd.

"James, what do you mean...?" Kelly voiced Xavier's thoughts for him, the blood beginning to leave her face. James smiled and rose from his chair, empty plate and glass in hand.

"Oh nothing mother, nothing at all. Me and Jack have to get to school, we'll see you guys there."

"Wait we're not going together, but that's our thing!" Camille exclaimed, James rolling his eyes.

"Cam, I love you but Jack is my boyfriend. I would like to spend some time with him, since I didn't see him at all yesterday. So we'll see you all there, okay?" With that the brunet took Jack's hand with his free one and left the dinning table, everyone left in shock.

Who the hell was Jack Chaser really, and what has he done to their Jamie?!

**_-Page Break-_**

"Your family hates me." Jack said once they washed their dishes and headed out of the house toward the blond's car. The way he said it, it was more of a statement than question.

James slowed his pace and turned to the slightly younger boy, rolling his eyes while shooting Jack a sweet smile. "They don't, they're just being difficult because I'm not known for having relationships. And if they don't like you...then that's their problem. We've been together for a long time, Jack, I know you. I know you better than them; I'm not going to give you up just because my parents and siblings don't approve. They can't do anything to break us up; even if they tried to, though, we would just see each other in secret." He said with a hand to Jack's right cheek, stroking his soft, pale peach skin.

Jack smiled sadly and placed his hand over the brunet's, the other at James' right hip. "But they're your family, Jamie."

"So? I mean...I love Mom and Dad and my brothers and sisters to death, but isn't love worth fighting for? Jack, you're the only person I can really be myself with. You know what I look like under the suit, you know my real face."

"Which I think is the most beautiful face I've ever seen." Jack cut in, pressing their foreheads together. The taller boy blushed a deep pink at the other's words, trying to evade those devouring deep green eyes.

"F-for years I held this storm inside...and no matter what I did, I could never keep it in. And then you show up and teach me to let it go, just break free and be myself. I don't care, Jack, I don't care what my parents and siblings will say about you, about us. I love you and rather be with you than anyone else in the world...after all, thanks to you I know how to control my powers a little bit."

At this James held up his free hand and grinned as a ball of energy took form against his palm, glowing a vibrant purplish-blue. He blew at the sparks erupting from the energy field, letting it dance across his long, thin fingers before letting it dissipate from view.

"J-Jamie, you didn't flinch! You're not scared anymore!" Jack exclaimed, a bright smile touching his lips before he brought the other closer for a passionate kiss.

James smiled into the kiss and poured all his feelings into the kiss he gave Jack after the first one was broken, free hand behind the other's neck.

"Not as much as I use to be, Jack. I-I was thinking over what you said, and you're right: my powers are a part of me, an extension of who I am. I-I shouldn't hold my...proxy side in anymore, but let it go. It's power, it's freedom and that's all I ever wanted...! My powers can do so much, it's about time I figure what I can do with them. Ha, I can do something with them, and finally be free! No rules, no trying to be the "perfect" boy! That ship has sailed, I'm better off not being the good little boy I've always worked myself to be. No more hiding how I feel, no more hiding who I am! W-well, at least not with you. I'll be myself and be happy! I'm free, I'm free!"

Jack smiled and pulled James into a hug again. The brunet was so flustered and happy that he didn't feel the blond smile deviously into his shoulder, green eyes flashing a pure white for a minute before they returned to their normal color.

'Sure, you're free Jamie. Free to be my prisoner...'


End file.
